Self Defense Puns

A list of puns related to "Self Defense"

What kind of self-defense does a Jewish Trump supporter practice?

Krav MAGA.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddyflextape
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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The corona virus just learned self defense.

They were taught Kung Flu.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattBatz1991
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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Why do snails take self defense classes.

So they don't get assaulted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuggeybug
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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The instructor in my self defense class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.

Personally, I think it’s nuts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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I’ve just completed a self defense course…

I wouldn’t recommend anyone attack me in slow motion now…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
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What do you call a painter who practices self defense?

A martial artist!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maddieie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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Dad-jokes for self-defense (crossposted from /r/funny)

https://i.redd.it/4nxahotzfku11.jpg

As mentioned on /r/funny, it's a shame we don't know the actual joke used here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmdeemer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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What does a Jewish baker use for self defense?

Jew Dough!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smajon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2017
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Found Out Donald Trump's Favorite Form of Self Defense

Krav MAGA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keefmastaflex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2017
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Did you hear about that new self defense bread?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fallwalking
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2013
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What did Daddy Skunk say to his children at the start of their self defense class?

Let us spray.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2017
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Self defense

If I were to easily kill a fellow with a drinking tube.

My self defense plea would be a straw man argument.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/staizer
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2015
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What's the difference between karate and judo?

Karate is a method of self defense, while judo is what bagels are made from.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarletnumberzz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I was attacked by a vegan vampire!

In self defense, I put a steak through his heart

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SemiAutoDuck
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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