Did you know Vikings had a secrete language?

They called it Norse code

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poptarzan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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Did you hear the secret joke that only the FBI, CIA, NSA and MI6 know?

[deleted]

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dantr1x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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From my 7yr old daughter: Why was the pig covered in ink?

Because he lived in a pen!

So very proud!

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/soaraf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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I was once offered the chance to join a secret club, where anyone who asks a question is permanently banned.

I said, "Sure, why not?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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The secret behind a dad joke is in the delivery

Is what the mailman keeps telling my son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeadlyHilarious
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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When we arrived at the playground, I realised my son secretly brought the cat with him. I was about to be angry at him...

...but then I decided to let it slide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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What is Russias most secretive insect ?

Cagey Bee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Someone secretly randomized my playlist.

Now I’m left with an unchained meddley.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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There’s a fine line between a secret

and memory loss.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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How did Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code

πŸ‘︎ 349
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blindeye0505
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Inmates at HMP Manchester are refusing to eat the Moroccan spiced chicken dish they're given every Friday, claiming it is being used to secretly medicate them with aggression-suppressants hidden in the sauce.

That sounds to me like one of those cons' piri piri theories.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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I'm going to share with you the greatest secret for always being on time

Just WATCH

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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Why was the discovery of King Tut thought to be a secret?

Because he was kept under wraps...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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I won the "Most Secretive Guy" award in our office today.

I can't tell you how much this award means to me

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EdwinDaPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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your mom secretly told me that you were born on a highway

....that's where most accidents happen

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Every dad stores his jokes in a very secret place...

His dad-a-base.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dr_se7en_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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I just found out that my friend lives a secret life as a priest.

It’s his altar ego.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Secret jaws plot

Did you know if you watch jaws backwards, it's about a shark that throws up so many people they have to open a beach? :D

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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I’ve secretly converted to Norse Paganism

Shhh...I’m trying to keep it Loki

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zthazel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Why does β€œsecretary” start with secret?

Because of all their business affairs

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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I Figured out the secret chord that David played!

It's Gsus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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The guy who stole my diary died yesterday.

My thoughts are with his family.

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Two people agreed to never speak to each other secretly

It was an unspoken agreement.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanUHekkinStahp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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You want the names of the tiny shrimp secret agents?

Sure, I could tell you...but then I’d have to krill you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaChuteQuiMarche
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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If Spiderman's secret identity is Peter Parker, what's his dog's secret identity?

Peter Barker

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_love_monkey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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I told my friend a secret about the grocery store.

He spilled the beans.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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I have a co-worker who claimed for years that he hates Christmas. He finally broke down and told me he secretly loves it, he just has a reputation to maintain.

He finally came out of the Santa Claus-et.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/barthm1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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What's the secret to being Santa Claus?

You either have the gift or you don't.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Which melon is unable to secretly marry?

Can't Elope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkanine9
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.

I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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What did batman say to robin before they got into the bat mobile?

Robin get in the car.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noodlesvonsoup
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Remember Spider Pig from the Simpsons movie? I figured out his secret identity!

Peter Porker

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weird_al_yankee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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As a secret agent, my kids never know what I got them for Christmas..

I always keep the presents under wraps.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EMOmosie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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My friend asked about my secret of making the juiciest steak

He isn’t pleased saying it’s too dry..... I just told him β€œit needs more thyme in the pan”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Addy-a-teddy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Why do secret agents get the best sleep...

Because they’re always undercover.

πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCraay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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What secret society loves to eat pretzels?

The Illumi-Knotty

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BobIsMyCableGuy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I secretly don't want 2020 the end..

Because then it'd mean 2021.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shawnshaunseans
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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I asked my dad if he had any secret talents.

He replied, β€œIf I did, how the hell would I know about them?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lankyjay16
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Secret Files
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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Do you know the secret Karen?

Everyone knows about Karen's, how they argue with everyone about everything.

Do you know about their lesser known Sister, Sharon. She's every bit as argumentative and angry, because as everyone knows,

Sharon is Karen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deadeye4741
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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Have you heard about the top secret bakery?

It's on a knead to dough basis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.

Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

Edit: Wow! My first Silver and my first Gold! I am honored. What an amazing community. It's a great place to visit after a challenging day.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/H2O_is_Great
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
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How did Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me "the most secretive guy" in the office.

I can't tell you how much this award means to me.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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I just found out that my friend has a secret life as a priest.

It’s his altar ego.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the secret service yell when Disney sent assassins after our president?

Donald, duck!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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