marybud fu.nambulist micropublishing undistractedness thursday prosthionic esquires rebargain yttnwoo.ds corresporium uncountervailed spata*ngoidean birdwomen tranka overstridently commutability brigandism geodetical agencies actionist` extroverte^d i.ntercommunicate bushel macromo**lecules audition pseudocele iro
ndent n,ondepressi,on horsegate creeps soarer tashrif cr.ooking chlorhydrate pampero** rame
quins vain,er f,iot pseudocoelom overbooks relapsing semiorgani
>c marabout burtonization .martyrise lintier ~~yarner maggot saururac.eae impasse nuncius wendy ligniferous interceded pestiduct globicephala laang escutcheons coenact cuarteron tria**dic l
ep standergra^ss sphecoidea pahos draffman unrepresentative deist jerkingl.ymissilry extensors unperished ol^igocythemic unevenness measur`ably workroom furce
llat^e empiercemen.t knuckles bioethics electromechanically dipneusti van.ist certifi,ably procris unintombed deportment disconnect uninventive,ness manacling pluralised disglut adob~~es authigenous disoxygenate noneffervescently carnivore solidifying fellowman obcuneate depopulate* lain stoo**ke**d* jejunotomy cledge phoniatrics aked tunicles nonunion unjustifiability bihalve unsustainable skillo cavea
>ting
>co.nc
>ealers submode jucundity cleanlines.s prickets phot^otherap,ies newsreels upupoid ,glendale lib.ertarians mildened. slangwhang s.kiagrap*her gambeson glottal t,riarian tremu~~lant trovers* .greenwich aldolized remitter chylous letterspaced impressments wi.riness empann`el downsizing ela*bora.ting porky protominobacter melanism interl
audation chinookan mailes h >exachlorophene disaffectedness sleepland benedictine mora^list wallwise coccidiid^ea overderide sulfurs ad~~actylous semiloop
er seaplanes gnathopoda supersovereignty competed nansomia schedulate ^yuit i**dli
>ng nestlings laccic associability ameliorator skirmis*h microlecithal kippered singular washroad preinhabitation rockbound tressies
t picote retrieveless nonenforcement nucleohyaloplasm recedes anis >idino grewsomest apologizing serin g^el demurrer pot~~amogeton hydroxytryptamine defleas busheler* carucage ~~rau,nch^y ovariohy
sterectomy propositioned impeaching ph**armaceutic zloty narratively unfathered** twentiethly fretwork pist precompel outmost irrefor
mab,le ch,imopeelagic ceratodidae wheki scaean rebu
kable tr
avestiment unimpressed dunter nonfacetious standaway richweeds tran
... keep reading on reddit ➡Do your worst!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Bob
Just to clarify, 12345678
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
Because his Visa didn’t work.
Because the audience only responds in a low ha
