What do you call a Scot with a bad hair cut?

Mullet of Kintyre.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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Mary Queen of Scots. My favorite one, but She was found guilty of high treason and the Head of the Monarchy was then..

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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An English man, An Irish man and a Scots man walk into a bar...

Those were the days.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImmediateConcept
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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This shop Scot the idea 🏴󠁧󠁒󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M0useRatFan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2017
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A English man, a Scots man and a Irish man...

... walk into a haunted house and see a Β£5 note on a table. The English man walks up to the table and hears a voice "I am the ghost of able Mable and that Β£5 note belongs on that table". He gets scared and runs away. The Irish man approaches the table and hears the same voice " I am the ghost of able Mable and that Β£5 note belongs on that table". He gets scared and runs away as well. The Scots man walks up to the table and hears the same voice " I am the ghost of able Mable and that Β£5 note belongs on that table". He says "I am the son of David Crocket and thatΒ£5 note belongs in my pocket".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wolfie979
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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What do you get if you cross a hitman and a scot?

Kilt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/m_moseby
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
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What do you call a Scots child who monopolizes the oyster counter at a seafood restaurant?

A raw bar bairn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dwarven-Monk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so

A subreddit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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Picture Perfect Puns

Ancient Scot Richard's Warriors: Dick's Picts

Loki - Trick pics (from my brother)

Pictures of an Adam Sandler movie: "Click" pics.

Pictures of a Kaitlin Olson character: The Mick's pics

Screenahots of these comments: Wit pics

Leaky faucet: drip pics

X1 Cumberbatch photos: Benedict pics

X2 Pope photos: Benedict pics (also works)

X3 Turncoat snaps: Benedict pics

X4 "Wong" image: Benedict pics

Legal command: Writ pics

Pictures of twigs: Stick pics

A Christmas Story scene: lick pics

Pictures of a Winter Saint: Nick pics

Syringe photos: prick pics (from a friend)

Sporting goods store images: Dick's pics.

Dan Harmon cartoon character: Rick's pics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndySkibba
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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I'm here is Scotland and quarantine has me feeling all out of sorts...

And there is nothing worse for a Scot than being off kilter.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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A scottish man was found dead after a serious bar fight...

The police are still searching for the person who kilt him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonFireKitty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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I was writing a text, and Autocorrect changed β€œkilled” to β€œkilt”.

Well plaid, phone. Well plaid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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If a person smokes too much meth and goes on a killing spree because of it...

...there would be a meth-od behind his madness.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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I saw a Scottish Band perform last night...

They totally kilt it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/livinin82
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2016
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Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak?

Scotch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/muelleimer98
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2015
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What time dose Sean Connery Arrive at Wimbledon

Ten-Ish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SneakyBus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
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Actually if Scotland votes for independence it won't be so bad

Because the rest of the UK will get away scot-free.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jb2386
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2017
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Overheard my Scottish passenger say this to his girlfriend while driving Uber today.

Driving them back to their house, he points over at a business and says to her "Maybe I should work for that company there?

She looks over and asks "Amscot?"

To which he replies "Yeah, I am Scot."

I laughed out loud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skarest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2016
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If Scotland votes YES on its independence referendum...

... then rest of Britain will go away scot-free.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CountofAccount
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
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A terribly good one from my Dad this evening.

As soon as I get home for the weekend he opens with the question: "Do you know why there are a lot of Scots called Donald but very few called Walt? Most people say it's because they think Walt is an English name but that's not true. It's because Walt always hits his head on the door. Why?

(In the worst Scottish accent imaginable) Because Donald Ducks but Walt Disney.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uresus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2014
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Got the full facepalm

I walked in and my wife and her brother were talking about the Scottish referendum to leave the UK. Brother-in-law asked what I think. I said there is no chance they get away Scot-free.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaltimoreBirdGuy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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