Pulled at least two on the wife the other day.

Wife: Will you stop farting! You are assaulting that chair!

Me: You could say I'm ass-saulting it!


Wife: (combing son's hair) If I comb it this way, it looks like Hitler. Which way did Hitler's hair part?

Me: Probably to the Reich.


Distinctive groans and death glares followed both.

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/murfguy
📅︎ Apr 14 2015
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Draw Bridges

Long before I was born my mom and dad were driving his younger brother to school in Sault Ste. Marie and they drove past a sign saying "Draw Bridge Ahead" so my dad is frantically searcing the front of the car while driving, my mom asks "What in the hell are you looking for?" He stated that he needed a pen because her had to draw the bridge ahead of them.

100% true, he sure is a jokester.

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 22 2013
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