Did you hear about the clown who was sacked from the circus?
Heβs suing for funfair dismissal.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 22 2021
A friend of my mine got sacked from his job, he asked Smoking or Non-Smoking
He should have asked Burial or Cremation
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 18 2020
My dad got sacked from the roads for stealing yesterday after twenty years.
I couldn't believe it at first but when I got home all the signs were there.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 16 2020
I was sacked from the ice cream factory today
Just because I refused to work on a Sundae!
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︎ Jan 05 2020
Stinkinβ boss sacked me from the M & M factory...
Said I was a Smartie for throwing out all the ones that looked like Ws...
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 19 2020
I got sacked from my job at the guillotine factory today
Its a cut-throat business
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 26 2019
Every thanksgiving when my family is watching football my dad waits until the quarterback is sacked and says the following....
βThatβs what you call a look-out block, you turn around and say LOOK OUTβ
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︎ Oct 27 2019
I had a job at calendar factory but I got sacked because..
I took a couple of days off.
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 17 2017
Why was the religious chef sacked from the ice-cream parlor?
He refused to work on sundaes.
π︎ 23
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︎ Mar 13 2017
The manager of the Native American football team is in fear of being sacked.
It seems they have had Apache start to the season.
EDIT: Lack of context. UK here who knows nothing of 'handegg' (Sorry!) Replace 'football' with 'soccer'.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 01 2015
Why should you never play Hacky Sack with Bigfoot
You'll get you sack-squashed.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
They tried to sack her, and she didnβt have a leg to stand on...
π︎ 242
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︎ Nov 01 2020
Why is Santaβs sack so big?
.....because he only comes once per year.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
I got the sack for asking a customer if they wanted smoking or non smoking.
Cremation or funeral was the correct term.
π︎ 20
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︎ Jan 19 2021
What do you see when the Pillsbury dough boy bends over?
π︎ 116
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︎ May 22 2021
Did you here about the doctor who messed up the circumcision?
π︎ 91
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︎ May 14 2021
Hit the wrong sack
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jun 01 2020
Cat-nap-sack
π︎ 8
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︎ May 15 2020
I found a sack on the side of the road. I reached inside to see if I could figure out who it belonged to. I think it belonged to Santa.
π︎ 19
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︎ Jun 12 2020
When a department store santa loses his job does he get the sack?
Do human cannonballs get fired?
Do pirates get told to sling their hook's?
Do prostitutes get laid off?
Do trapeze artists get let go?
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 28 2020
I was bitten by a deer.
Now every full moon I turn into a weredoe.
π︎ 139
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
My wife works in animal medicine and rolled her eyes at me. "Where does a vet who specializes in neutering live?"
π︎ 46
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︎ Mar 20 2021
Whatβs a ruck sackβs favourite bread
π︎ 11
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︎ Apr 16 2020
My daughter had to stick her hand in a sack to try to guess the type of material by touch...
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 11 2020
why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he only cums once a year.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 29 2018
I was stuck on a crossword the other day, with a word for a postman's sack.
'How many letters were there?'
There were loads in there!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 07 2019
My boss said he's sacking the person with the worst posture.
I've got a hunch it may be me
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 23 2019
How to Castrate a Bull, in Limerick Form
I've two bulls who just love to fight //
they simply cannot be polite //
Just one needs to breed //
and so I'll proceed //
to castrate the weak one tonight
The procedure is safe, I insist //
if we make the blood flow desist //
to make bleeding halt //
do the "ball somersault" //
and give that whole sack a huge twist
To do this requires no skill //
I'll just need a quite large power-drill //
and a specialized clamp //
to hold on to that champ //
then turn it on fast- what a thrill!
It is clear this device should appeal //
to those who need bulls with less zeal //
I shall name this device //
with a drill and a vise //
the most perfect of names: "Steering Wheel!"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
What does a communist pirate call a sack of potatoes?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 23 2019
What do you call a burglar's loot sack?
An accessory to the crime.
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 21 2019
Three women were on the run from the law (A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead).
Their car breaks down next to a corn field and they decide to run through it as the law is quickly approaching. They stumble upon a barn. Inside they find three burlap sacks and one of them suggests they should each hide inside one. Shortly after, the sherriff and his deputies arrive at the barn. They notice the three sacks.
The sheriff kicks the first one containing the brunette and she says "Meow, meow."
"Oh it's just a sack of kittens." One of the deputies says.
The sherriff kicks the sack where the redhead is hiding and she says "woof, woof."
"That's just a sack of puppies" they say.
The sherriff kicks the third sack with the blonde inside and she exclaims "Potato, potato."
π︎ 27
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︎ Dec 10 2020
I have have managed to save $10 towards a large sack of raisins.
It's in my current account.
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 17 2019
They got scared
π︎ 77
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︎ Mar 30 2020
I got the sack from the Dermatology Clinic for misdiagnosing shingles...
Which I thought was a little rash.
From Dad Joke of the day on facebook.
π︎ 9
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︎ Apr 24 2019
He's got the sack yet again this year!!!!
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 13 2019
I find I can carry large sacks of dahlia tubers with ease, although the eerie glow they emit is somewhat offputting.
They must be light bulbs!
π︎ 3
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︎ May 02 2019
How long does pepper last in the sack?
I donβt know, I donβt have the thyme to find out those spicy details.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 25 2019
Did you hear about the really short sighted circumcisionist ?
π︎ 17
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︎ Dec 23 2020
Escape
A blonde, brunette and a red head escape from prison. While running across a field they hear the guards coming and being tired, the red head suggested hiding in some potato sacks they found.
When the guards reached the sacks one kicked the bag containing the red head, she went meow meow. "Just a sack of kittens" said the guard. Then he kicked the brunettes bag, she went woof woof. "Just a bag of puppies". Lastly he kicked the blondes bag and she went potato potato.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack...
...because I took a couple of days off.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
Why does Santa have a big sack...
Because he only comes once a year.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
Why does Santa bring a very big sack?
Because he only comes once a year
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 14 2019
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 13 2019
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 09 2019
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