Some filmmakers were secretly trying to murder the lead actor in a low-budget flick, but he got wind of the plot and managed to escape. They took the existing footage and shopped it to different producers, but it was roundly rejected by everyone for the same reason.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 05 2020
Do you know which Knight it was who came up with the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
(My dad's a math teacher)
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
Who built the round table for King Arthur?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
How often do pirate attacks occur?
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
Musicians say if the world isn't round
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
A farmer said to me βI have 68 sheep. Can you help round them up for me?β
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
This year, my friend decided to play his string instrument with a neck and a deep round back enclosing a hollow cavity, with a sound hole in the body at the voting booths...
He was arrested for ear poll-lute-tion.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
I just thought of this today as I was driving... Iβm sorry in advance π I saw this sign the other day, and it had rounded edges
It was kinda pointless...
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
I called up Weight Watchers, told them there was an emergency and asked for them to send someone round!
Turns out theyβve got loads of them!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
Round of applause indeed
π︎ 43
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
Why didn't the pro golfer wear his golf shoes during the round? (Compliments of my stylist)
Because he's got a hole in one.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
The fattest knight at King Arthurβs round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
π︎ 138
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
What's the name of a knight of the round table?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
What's round and bad-tempered?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
Had a painter and decorator round this week. He's a furloughed airline pilot...
He made a lovely job of the landing!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
Took me many rounds to get this image
π︎ 141
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
Why wonβt triangles go on dates with circles?
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
The only thing Flat-Earthers fear...
π︎ 462
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
My wife insisted on pouring flour into the melted butter.
I told her she would roux the day.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
Dad: βHow are your grades, son?β Son: βTheyβre underwater, Dad.β Dad: βWhat do you mean, underwater?β
Son: βTheyβre below C levelβ
π︎ 123
π
︎ Feb 12 2021
From Berlin to Warsaw in one tank
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
Before we go to bed, my wife always recites the members of the round table..
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
The Covid19 situation has been particularly stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear social distancing measures will push someone over the edge.
π︎ 296
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
What's white, round and giggles?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
I tried to convince one of my co workers to buy the first round of drinks after our shift...
He said no, but it was worth a shot.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.
I'm sure that must have been a record.
π︎ 456
π
︎ May 26 2020
Lesser known Knights of the Round Table
βI was the knight no one expected to see on the battlefield.β - Sir Prize
βI shall see you around.β - Sir Cumference
βWe shall fight on land or sea.β - Sir Fenturf
βI was the knight who was afraid to fight.β - Sir Render
βI was the unbelievable knight.β - Sir Real
βI was the knight that drank too much.β - Sir Rhosis
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
I called round at my neighbour's house early one morning and she opened the door in her nightie.
I thought, "That's a funny place for a door."
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
The hottest place in a room is the corners.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
I donβt get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it arenβt even well rounded.
π︎ 350
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
The most rounded up base I've ever seen, not gonna lie
π︎ 533
π
︎ Mar 03 2020
Aaah yess sire,
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Sep 13 2020
You win this round cheese
π︎ 141
π
︎ Apr 29 2020
How do you steal a sweater?
π︎ 101
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
Iβm a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....βlooks like you have the best jobβ he says, βwhy is that?β I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
Just another joke making rounds in the Office
π︎ 16
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
My wife and I were stuck in traffic, and I said, βIβm turning roundβ.
She said, βStop eating so many burgers thenβ.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
What's black and white and goes round and round ?
A penguin in a revolving door
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 17 2020
Making my morning rounds in hospital when I ask a patient how his breakfast was. "The eggs and sausage were fine, but the Kentucky Jelly was awful," he replied. "What 'Kentucky Jelly'?" I ask.
Then he shows me the empty packet of KY Jelly had smeared all over his morning toast.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
The toothbrush was invented in Arkansas
If it were invented anywhere else, it would be called a βteethbrushβ
π︎ 50
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
Which knight invented the round table?
π︎ 34
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
Who built King Arthur's round table?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
Who invented the round table?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
The fattest knight at King Arthurβs round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
Which of King Arthur's knights crafted the Round Table?
Why, Sir Cumference of course!
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
Which one of King Arthur's knights built the round table?
π︎ 26
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
The roundest knight at the round table
π︎ 95
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
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