I got the roof tiles for free...

They’re on the house

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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How many PokΓ©mon does it take to tile a roof?

Depends how thinly you slice them.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElZoof
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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Two thieves stole all of the roof tiles from the village church...

It was a separation of church and slate.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KZedUK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2014
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My mate tiled my roof for me.

When I asked him how much I owed him, he said, "Don't worry. It's on the house."

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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One day i found a ceiling tile

On the ground cry so i took it home and fed it and loved it as my child. When the tile moved out I was alone and asked myself "what do I do now my whole life was about raising the roof"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sherrerluck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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Some asking my bio teacher what would Shingles evolve into...

He said " Roof tiles"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bowye
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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