Revenges Puns

So we're just sitting on the couch, watching an animal video compilation (her absolute favorite) when she suddenly gets up to go to the kitchen.

As she's walking to the door, a Morey eel shows up on the screen...

She looked at me, grinned REAL big and goes;

"baby! Do you now what that is?" followed immediately by her singing... "that's Amore!"

Yeah... She got me. Hard Groan.

They took a Risk, but now they don’t have a Clue.

Toucan play at that game

they're not called the Order of the Jelive

Because revenge is a dish best served cold

Once upon a time, there was a small desert village with a single well on the outskirts of the town. One morning, a woman went to the well to fetch water for the day. The lady was crying and the well heard this. A voice came from the well and asked “what’s wrong?”

The lady stopped sobbing and asked the well, in utter disbelief, “you can talk?”

“Yes” the well said, “long ago, the witch living in this town gave life to me so I could protect the towns people”

“Alas” the woman said, “I am the daughter of that witch. She lived in peace with the town for many years, but the new mayor, who is a violent and hateful man, riled the townspeople up against her. The town burnt my mom at the stake! I am still young and do not know much magic. I tried to curse the town, but failed, and now I fear I may never avenge my mother.”

“Do not be afraid” the well said, “I will take care of this.”

The next morning the mayor was going to the well to fetch water when he heard an odd noise. He peered over the edge to look down as far as he could when an impossibly long arm shot up at him. The arm grabbed the mayor and dragged him down into the depths of the well. There was a horrible crunching sound and the mayor was never seen again. The townsfolk apologized to the witch’s daughter and everyone lived happily ever after.

See moral above for the pun...

A Christmas stalking.

A Reichening

Dad: so what do you want for dinner?

Me: food

It is super lame but understand my satisfaction. He used that joke so many times lately

We’ll see about that

So my Dad and I were on the highway, after travelling for a couple hours, he said that he was hungry. My response? "Hi hungry, I'm Samdaman222, but there's a Big Mack". Pointing to the truck that was just passing.

I was happy with the joke being a double whopper.

Edit: Grammar.

One day, a son walks into the living room and says, "I'm hungry."

The Dad says with a grin on his face, "Hi, Hungry! I'm Dad."

The son groans and walks away. About 15 minutes later the son walks back into the room and says, "Dad, I'm are you hungry?"

Again with that same stupid grin on his face, the Dad says, "Hi, are you hungry? I'm Dad."

As soon as he said it, the Dad realized his mistake and the son was never hungry again.

Whenever she sneezes I say "achoo!". This morning she sneezed twice, so I said "achoo" twice. She said "no dad, you mean achtwo, because I sneezed twice!"

I guess she's getting her revenge. She'll make a fine dad one day.

How does it feel?

They took a Risk, but now they don’t have a Clue.

Because it's just ice.

In other words, revenge is ice cream.