I went to a restaurant last night and they had pelican on the menu.

I was going to order it but the bill would have been huge.

πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ‘€︎ u/omgitschriso
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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I once went to a Hispanic restaurant that specialized in various exotic cheeses. I asked what was on the menu.

β€œβ€˜Kay, so...” the waiter started

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/TotallyIneptWeeb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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Why did the Indian restaurant take their bread off the appetizer menu?

It was a Naan starter.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/JeffreyPetersen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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I went to a restaurant and the waiter sat me down and asked if I'd like to see a dessert menu.

I said "No, that's the last thing I want"

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ‘€︎ u/eastawat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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I was at a restaurant and said to the waitress ”Excuse me, can I ask you something about the menu please?”

She kicked me out and said β€œThe men I please are none of your business!”

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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I was in Greece at a restaurant and my dad walked up to me with the menu....

....he asked me if I could read it because it was all Greek to him. He was so proud of his joke I didn't have the heart to tell him I hated him for leaving me when I was 3.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/TomasBerdshit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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I recently ate at an east African restaurant. On their menu, one of the items was a mini tamale...

They called it a Somali.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/QuestionMarkyMark
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2018
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Every single time we go to a restaurant with sea bass on the menu

my dad will ask the waiter if their sea bass is ill tempered. Here is a link to the scene from Austin Powers for anyone who doesn't know the line. Only two waiters have ever gotten the joke.

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ‘€︎ u/Etheril
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2013
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If you had a dad-joke themed restaurant, what would be on the menu?
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/elmonoenano
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2015
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So my wife was looking over the menu at a restaurant and said "why do people even like monte christo sandwiches?"

I told her they were easy to count.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/mmoffitt15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
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While browsing a restaurant menu...

I ask the waiter, "I see you have a Cajun Chicken Pasta, but I'm trying to be more conscious of where my food comes from. Do you have a cage free chicken pasta?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLync
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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Why did the restaurant on the moon fail?

Because no matter how good the food was, there was never any atmopshere

πŸ‘︎ 177
πŸ‘€︎ u/deutschbag17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2013
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Dad told a horrible one at a restaurant

We were looking at the menu's ( we were at the handmade burger co a restaurant in the Uk) when he said

Him: oh look there are Cajun burgers they must be for special events

I looked at him kind of confused not realising the horrible punch line coming

Him: you know for special oc-Cajuns

Me and my mother just groaned It really was horrible.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ‘€︎ u/pullingthestrings
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2014
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Dadjoke at the restaurant.

I worked at a restaurant years ago.

Me: Would you like some complementary bread while you look over our menu?

Husband: Is it well bread?

Me: It's pure bread.

The wife rolled her eyes. The husband and I smiled.

πŸ‘︎ 214
πŸ‘€︎ u/binger5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
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Dad embarrasses family at a graduation dinner

My family and I attended a dinner this evening with my sister's housemates and all of their families - the first time everyone was meeting. As we all browse the menu someone makes the comment that that they didn't like the duck at this restaurant and my father immediately had to chime in.

Dad: You're completely right, it's not all its quacked up to be.

Thanks Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 174
πŸ‘€︎ u/srgtslam
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2014
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New cook at the Chinese Restaurant

Peter Johnson took a job at a Chinese Restaurant, and was learning how to make all the items on the menu. He did great on most dishes, but some of the notes all ended with the word "smackdown". Since he was confused, he asked one of the other cooks about it.

"Jian, why do all of these recipes have 'smackdown' as the last step?"

"That's easy. When you smell what is cooking, you drain the wok, Johnson."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/TakaComics
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2016
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Dad said it wasn't funny, my tears of laughter said otherwise

My family and I are going to Greek Town this weekend

Dad - "What do you normally get at Greek restaurants?"

Me - "I dunno, I look at the menu and it is all Greek to me."

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossoccer44
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2015
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The Swearing Snake

It was a sunny afternoon in the city, and a 29 foot Amazonian Anaconda slithered into a hipster burger store. The snake slithered up to the counter and looked over the menu to find that everything was gluten free. The anaconda was disappointed, because he always found that the light fluffy bread on each end of his burger was his favorite part of the burger.

The clerk greeted him with a smile. "Hello! My name is Hyun! Can I take your order?" he said.

The anaconda responded with a sentence so foul I cannot type it here. It contained several swear words and many racial slurs against his server, all because the burgers would be served without buns.

Hyun reeled back in disgust. He requested an apology from the snake. Again, the anaconda belted out horrible curses and vulgarities.

Hyun, being the good Christian man that he is, said that he would call upon his good friend Sister Alice to perform an exorcism on the snake if he didn't leave. The snake finally slithered out upon hearing this.

About an hour later, the anaconda slithered back in with his owner. They approached the counter.

"Now what seems to be the problem here?" Said the anaconda's owner.

"This snake came in swearing up a storm and causing all kind of trouble all because we don't serve gluten in this restaurant" said Hyun.

"I threatened to call my friend Sister Alice to perform an exorcism if he didn't leave."

"Oh" said the anaconda's owner "Sorry about that. My Anaconda don't want nun unless you got buns, Hyun".

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/unibod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2014
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Went to eat at a local German restaurant...

When the waitress asked of we wanted to look at the desert menu or get the checks, I responded:

"In the spirit of this being a German restaurant, we'll take the Czechs!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/teedoubleyew
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2015
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At a restaurant with my family...

So I'm at a restaurant with my family and my mom jokingly tells the waiter that beceause there's new menus, there must have been a price increase.

Mom: "ah, new menus! Must mean the price has gone up!"

Waiter: "hahaha just a little ma'm, just a little!"

Dad: "well can you bring me the old menu please?"

πŸ‘︎ 94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2013
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Dad Joked my family, also in an Indian Restaurant.

We were all sat down looking at the menu, when I announced "Did you know that this place is C.S. Lewis themed?"

Cue puzzled looks around the table.

"Yeah, it's like most Indian restaurants, only it's a bit naanier!"

Groans, facepalms and my wife going "oh TisteSimeon" under her breath. While I sit there and grin.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/TisteSimeon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
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My dad has supersonic hearing when it comes to opportunities to dadjoke someone...

My mother and sister were in the kitchen talking about the menu of a local restaurant.

Mom: "I wonder what kind of soup I should get..."

Sister: "I heard their bean soup was pretty good..."

My father was in another part of the house and, as if he was overcome by a spidey-sense like tingling for a dadjoke opportunity, came running down the stairs into the kitchen and said:

Dad: "I don't care what it's 'been' what is it now!"

They groaned while he and I chuckled.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/KeithSkud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2014
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Chinese food never fails to provide ammo for dads.

Sitting in the Chinese Restaurant, my dad is reading the broken English menu and says:

Dad: Does this dish come out with Beethoven playing?

Me: What? Why?

Dad: Well it's under 'classical dishes'.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/matt7259
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2013
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I was at a restaurant and said to the waitress ”Excuse me, can I ask you something about the menu please?”

She kicked me out and said β€œThe men I please are none of your business!”

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ‘€︎ u/TeeFarkas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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