Disturbed's lead singer just laughed like a monkey and said he was "down with the thiccness."
I have some breaking news for her.
Now he's freelance
Pie nipple ex-press
Pascals, Hector Pascals.
They’d be able to dig up so much dirt on you.
She said, "Meh."
So I immediately said, "You heard it here, folks, it's a meh zing."
"Sorry, no pun n' ten dead"
The would-be mentor insisted on going to a seafood restaurant and then he ordered his favorite meal for the both of them. When the hard working, fresh-out-of-journalism-school grad asked the veteran newshound how he always managed to get witty phrases from the Prime Ministers and Presidents he interviewed, a sly smile swam across his face.
Intrigued, she watched intently while he reached for his wallet then removed a €5 note. Holding it toward her face over the table, she was surprised when the greying beat writer dropped the money directly on her uneaten dinner and held an index finger to his closed lips.
As they both looked down at the seafood platter, his paper Euro was suddenly sucked under the rings of fried calamari until it disappeared from sight. After what sounded like a stand-up comedian clearing his throat, a male voice with an Eastern European accent clearly rose out of her food. It said, "Trump asked for dirt on Biden so I sent him some good Ukrainian topsoil."
As the gobsmacked gal with mouth agape slowly raised her eyes to her grinning dinner guest's face, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "squid pro quote".
Required Explanation: "squid pro quote" is a play on words for the saying "quid pro quo", a Latin phrase meaning "something for something". In the news at the time of this posting a tremendous amount of discussion is being circulated about whether or not US president Trump dangled a quid pro quo offer in front of Ukraine's newly elected president, Volodymyr Zelensky. The deal had nothing to do with seafood however, so that was just a red herring. It should also be noted that Mr. Zelensky, before diving into politics, was a stand-up comedian.
Over 2,000 gingers showed up and there wasn't a sole to be seen.
“No,” says the man, “I’m German. But how did you know my name is Walter?”
They're very biased.
Pun in, ten dead.
It was on r/upliftingnews
If we don't find him, we'll use two eyes
you're the French Press.
Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Belly Jons." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Dad “if I knew ice was worth that much I’d put more in the fridge”
they're always breaking news.
He liked his daily scoop.
Dad - "How did they get the coach down there?"
I guess I always had a hunch
It's a rough beet.
So a news anchor is interviewing the avatar of a hawaiian volcano, a man made of molten rock. The interview goes well, but the volcano god cant' seem to stop staring at the reporter's chest with his eyes of burning, liquid stone. She plays it cool, but waits for the interview to be over to call the spirit on his rude actions. He looks her in the eyes, then points to her exposed microphone, clipped to her lapelle. "What do you call that," he asks.
It's a Lavalier mic.
...he asked him, "How do you craft such amazing pants?" Levi replied, "It's in my jeans."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi7lp55Ex7U
I have some breaking news for her.
I have some breaking news for her.
I had some Breaking News for her
I have got some news for her.
I have some breaking news for her.
Boy, do I have some news for her.
