She said, "Meh."
So I immediately said, "You heard it here, folks, it's a meh zing."
"Sorry, no pun n' ten dead"
The would-be mentor insisted on going to a seafood restaurant and then he ordered his favorite meal for the both of them. When the hard working, fresh-out-of-journalism-school grad asked the veteran newshound how he always managed to get witty phrases from the Prime Ministers and Presidents he interviewed, a sly smile swam across his face.
Intrigued, she watched intently while he reached for his wallet then removed a €5 note. Holding it toward her face over the table, she was surprised when the greying beat writer dropped the money directly on her uneaten dinner and held an index finger to his closed lips.
As they both looked down at the seafood platter, his paper Euro was suddenly sucked under the rings of fried calamari until it disappeared from sight. After what sounded like a stand-up comedian clearing his throat, a male voice with an Eastern European accent clearly rose out of her food. It said, "Trump asked for dirt on Biden so I sent him some good Ukrainian topsoil."
As the gobsmacked gal with mouth agape slowly raised her eyes to her grinning dinner guest's face, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "squid pro quote".
Required Explanation: "squid pro quote" is a play on words for the saying "quid pro quo", a Latin phrase meaning "something for something". In the news at the time of this posting a tremendous amount of discussion is being circulated about whether or not US president Trump dangled a quid pro quo offer in front of Ukraine's newly elected president, Volodymyr Zelensky. The deal had nothing to do with seafood however, so that was just a red herring. It should also be noted that Mr. Zelensky, before diving into politics, was a stand-up comedian.
Over 2,000 gingers showed up and there wasn't a sole to be seen.
Pun in, ten dead.
It was on r/upliftingnews
Dad - "How did they get the coach down there?"
He liked his daily scoop.
I guess I always had a hunch
It's a rough beet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi7lp55Ex7U
And the atom replied, "I'm positive!"
It's been reported he could have done with another coat.
because his teacher was crappe
Unfortunately it was a Type-O
It was a bombshell
All I asked was "How much for one night stand ?"
Shame on him for trying to make a quick buck.
different
Because he was mugged
The other 71% that don't are full of it
But what about their lefts?
I said, “it’s a bit muggy.”
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
She grated it.
They told me they’d see what would turnip. Then they told me it wasn’t their beet. I don’t think they carrot all!
To be sure. I’ll let myself out.....
To summarize:
He's never gonna give you Up
Never gonna lend you Down
Never gonna run around, and dessert you.
But I felt it was justified
It was a completely miss-leading report
He wants to make America grate again.
Cause he got assaulted.
Hail Caesar
No the guy said..... The thief Spends less than my wife.
But what about their lefts?
because It was mugged!
It got MUGGED
Unfortunately, it was a Type-O
It got mugged
It got mugged.
Because it got mugged
^PS ^sorry ^if ^this ^has ^been ^used ^before
It got mugged.
She grated it!
Unfortunately it was a Type-O.
It got mugged.
It got mugged.
It got mugged.
