Can anybody give me some advice to help me removing ice from my windshield? I just tried with a discount card I had In my pocket

.. Only got 20%Off

πŸ‘οΈŽ 577
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LuisCAG
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
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Does anyone know the best way to remove ice from a windscreen?

I've just used an old discount card I found in my wallet, but I only got 20% off....

πŸ‘οΈŽ 211
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2021
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Can one of the Mods please explain to me why my post was removed?

I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over....

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/varthalon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2020
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In honor of former president Donald J. Trump

[removed]

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Handleton
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2021
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Dr: We had to remove your colon

Me Why?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 64
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Blindingdoor554
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2021
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My dentist removed my teeth

That was very demolarising

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rairishu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2021
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Can an Admin tell me why my post was removed? It was very inconvenient... My whole fence fell down
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/muddoo7887
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2021
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I bought a roll on deodorant, the instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom"...

I walk kinda funny now but my farts smell great!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Toberoni
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2021
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Doctor: I'm sorry but we have to remove half of your colon

Me; What?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2021
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I always wanted to keep my wisdom teeth but I just went to the dentist and it looks like they're gonna have to be removed

To be honest this is pretty demolarizing

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MyHandsAreOrange
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2021
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Found this on r/cursedcomments - the post (by u/Atom596 ) was removed for some reason so I couldn't crosspost but wanted to give the op credit
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RedLeader11037
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 12 2020
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Why did President Xi Jinping order the caplock keys to be removed from all Chinas computers?

Because he was afraid of Capitalism!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Frindwamp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2021
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Doctor: I’m afraid we’re going to have to remove your colon.

Me Why?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 355
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
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Why was my post removed?

Can someone tell me why my post was removed?

I'm a bit annoyed about this as it caused my fence to fall over

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/emu404
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 04 2020
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I have a Pierce Brosnan sticker I can't remove

It's bonded, James Bond-ed

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/plunged_ewe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2021
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How should you remove hazardous materials from your house?

Asbestos you can

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thicc_astronaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
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I've removed all the black keys from my piano

Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gell0us
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2020
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My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

So I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
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My dog ate a string of Christmas lights, but the vet was able to remove them.

My dog was delighted.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 90
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DiosMioMan2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2020
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My female cat just got fixed, but the vet insisted on referring to it as "feline ovarian removal".

Look, sometimes you have to call a spayed a spayed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 250
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2020
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[Post Removed]
πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iNNeRKaoS
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 14 2020
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What's harder to remove from an apartment than six spiders?

Ten ants.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2020
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Recently I’ve had to remove several of my posts.

Someone took a fence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 81
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2020
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Why did the dentist remove the wrong tooth?

He didn’t mean to, he did it acciDENTALly

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Endersgaming4066
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2020
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Which kidney to take?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/steeltitan1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2020
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OPINION βˆ’ 3.14 = ONION
πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/M_Arslan_Tahir
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2021
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What would u call Hitler if he got removed of his own dick by operation and put someone else's dick there?

Dic-traitor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kestrokapil
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2020
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What odd number is no longer odd when you remove a letter?

Seven. If you you remove the S it becomes even.

Heard from my nine year old three minutes ago.

I’ve never been more proud.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/platypus_eyes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 31 2020
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Did you hear about the pro wrestler who came up with a method to remove hemorrhoids by hammering them?

He called it the Pile Driver.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
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Circumsicion is when your foreskin gets

[removed]

πŸ‘οΈŽ 343
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mudkipfan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2021
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Know what it means when the mods remove some of your posts?

That they've taken a fence!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2020
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A man goes into surgery to get his Appendix removed.

Unfortunately, the doctor cut a little too deep and the man's organs began to spill out onto the operating table....

...

...

"Well, it looks you have a table of contents now" says the medical assistant.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/icemage27
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
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I want to invest in one of those junk removal companies.

No matter what happens with the economy, their business always seems to be picking up.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ChetRipley
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2020
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I removed the rear view mirror from my car last week.

Haven't looked back since.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 69
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2020
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Gravity, one of the most basic forces in the Universe. But then again, if you remove it...

You still have Gravy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_houser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2020
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I had a post removed yesterday.

Was told that it had to go because it might cause a fence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mickerallen100
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2020
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I always believed that 'sticks and stones would break my bones, but words would never hurt me.'

Until I fell into a printing press.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2021
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Diet Diary, Day one : Have just removed all the fattening food from the House..

..and it was so delicious.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19 2020
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I think I'm going to remove my spine.

It's only holding me back.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Frostyfrontier71
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2020
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Why was this post removed?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TurtleofAwesomeness
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2020
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The graveyard near my town is really crowded...

People are just dying to get in

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NidalFlame
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2021
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How do you turn six into nine?

Remove the β€œs”.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 529
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2020
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To that guy who’s post was removed,

I can repost it for you, just give me some time.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NoodleyP
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2020
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Do you know what happened to Jack Ma after he criticized the Chinese Government?

[removed]

πŸ‘οΈŽ 93
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cthulhouette
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2021
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Some Campy Humor

Three men go camping in the wilderness; a German, an Italian and a Czechoslovakian. While asleep, their campsite is attacked by a couple of bears and all 3 men are presumed killed. Forest Rangers get deployed to find the missing campers. After inspecting the campsite, the Rangers discover the bear tracks and follow them to the den. Inside are the 2 bears, a male and a female, which the Rangers quickly kill. First, they opened the stomach of the female and inside were the remains of the German and Italian men.

"Looks like our work here is done," the lead Ranger says to his partner.

"But we only found 2 bodies!" The partner cries back.

The Ranger removes his sunglasses and looks vacantly into the distance before finally telling his partner:

"Clearly the Czech is in the male."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/a_leash_on_a_sloth
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2021
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I have been reading some history on the French revolution and found out what happened to Louis XVI's head

[removed]

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zekesnack
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2020
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If you remove all musical instruments from a church

Is it disorganised?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Roku-Hanmar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2020
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Doctor: I'm sorry, but I had to remove your colon

Me why?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/professorf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2020
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This post was removed because...

Someone took a fence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CameronBHarte
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2020
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My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at work.

So, I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 134
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2021
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