I won a contest extracting the most water from a towel, I'm now known as the....

Lord of the Wrings.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Dental extractions are immolar
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuzet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Eric refunded his memory extraction service

It wasn't what he had in mind

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pingi2015
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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Why did the yogi refuse anesthetic to have his tooth extracted?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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Did you hear the latest joke about the dentist who loves tooth extraction?

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?

I’m smelting!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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At the university, I learned various methods for extracting honey.

I have a Bee Tech degree.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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What smells better than it tastes?

A nose

πŸ‘︎ 229
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πŸ‘€︎ u/0u3f
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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Helping the economy one job at a time
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sescala
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
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Why did the coffee taste like mud?

Because it was just ground this morning

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeodardoDicaprio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2015
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i sent my phone to dentist cause the bluetooth wasn’t working.
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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The orange fruit company is in trouble

We haven't been able to extract the problem yet, but there will be a press conference shortly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuinmeubelen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
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Did I ever tell you about my dentist? He told me he was Ex military.

He used to be the Drill Instructor... And specialised in extractions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smatt-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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My Dad should be the king of this subreddit:

I told my family via our family Whatsapp chat group that I had just found out that one of my wisdom teeth had decided to grow horizontally into the root of the next tooth requiring both teeth to be extracted. My Dad replies with this.... https://imgur.com/a/XbGg5KB

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noguarde
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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What do you call a vampire Oral Surgeon?

Extract-ula

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
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Had a dad joke at work the other day, wanted to share.

Where I work, we have a honeybee hive and sell the honey in our market.

A pair of beekeepers were in the other day to extract some combs and before they left, they asked us (my Hispanic coworkers and myself) if we wanted to see them.

Both of my coworkers exclaimed, "Si, si!" and I promptly chimed in, "No, they aren't c's - they're bees!"

Audibly groans were had, I am ready for fatherhood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crunkle_pat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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Got the Girl at the Dentist this Morning

Went into the dentist for tooth pain, was told they are going to extract my upper wisdom teeth. The receptionist scheduled me two weeks from now at 2:30.

"Huh, that's funny."
"What's funny?"
"My appointment. It's tooth hurty."

Groaning and laughter ensued.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spoonman33
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2016
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Got the vet the other day

Had my dog in for a tooth extraction and when the vet was looking over the chart I told her it was one of his canines.

"No, it's a molar"

Frustrating when nobody recognizes great humour.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Generic_Cleric
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2016
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An Old Man Lies dying in 2070...

Surrounded by his family.

Trying to extract some final wisdoms from him and keep him company in his final days, his son asks "What's the part of your life that sticks out to you most Dad?"

He responds "I can perfectly remember my youth. Those summer days fifty years ago seem in my mind to be as clear and perfect as this moment now."

His son exclaims "Wow, fifty years! Your memory was always so impressive, even in your old age pop"

"But of course" his dad says back, "hindsight is 2020"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blueleader96
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2016
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Like a tumor

I was born normally, but my little sister had to be born via C section, and whenever my dad talks about this he looks at me and said that I was born right, and then turns to my little sister and says "but you were extracted, like a tumor." Every time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bewbie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2013
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