What would you name a box? ...(the newest installment in my aggressively produced puns video series)
youtu.be/ieVbk7M-4ak
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︎ Jul 15 2015
The Punnerβs Prayer
Dear Lord as week seek to produce puns worthy of your praise, lettuce relish this opportunity. We ask that you would cause humor to sprout in the hearts of those who think us nuts. Continue to cultivate in us passion, fruit which beets back sadness and joy which leeks into others. Though some may say we are corny we know you will give us sage wisdom. Give us the confidence to know we are kaleβin it as we bring choy to the world and live apply ever after.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Co-Worker and I were bored at work this morning, we wrote this. We work for a fruit store.
NASHI here Scott, we don't need your PERSIMMON to PRODUCE puns. I ain't LIME-ing, fruit puns are hard. It's a GRAPE skill to have and not at all CORNy. If BANANA (you wanna) challenge us; that can be ORANGEd, however you SHALLOT be prePEARed for us. I can GUAVAntee we will not deal with you GINGERly; if you push, APPLE; (I pull) It's not like i'm speaking LEBANESE, CUCUMBERstand?
I myself am full of puns from my head TOMATOES, as you can KIWI (See, we) have been doing this longer than you, we never skip a BEET, our abilities just climb higher PAPAYA (and higher)?.
We don't CARROT all if you're upset by this, in fact it's about THYME we asked your mother on a DATE. So don't be a DILL, we've BEAN there and done that before. So be ready to LETTUCE give you something to cry about throws onion
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︎ Mar 15 2014
25 emails between me (film producer) and Jason (my props master) over the course of making my film RUN (on Hulu now!)
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︎ Dec 09 2020
What happens when the U.S. Mint stops producing currency?
I donβt know, it makes no sense.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Produced by Dick Wolf
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Did you hear about the cow that could produce 1,000 gallons of milk every day?
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︎ Nov 25 2020
What kind of bees produce milk?
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...
I work with beet boxes and I wrap!
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︎ Oct 13 2020
After my failed attempt at growing vegetables this year, I've decided to become a music producer.
I've got a ton of sick beets.
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︎ Sep 07 2020
Why couldn't the Macaw and the Bull never produce any offspring?
It would've created a parrot-ox.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
What did the produce manager tells his daughter who wanted to run away with her boyfriend?
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︎ Oct 28 2020
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)
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︎ Jun 22 2020
Which type of bee produces milk?
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︎ Aug 12 2020
My young son and I were having our first discussion about drugs. He was curious about why people would do drugs in the first place, and I told him that many people do it because it produces different feelings of euphoria. He asked, "what's euphoria?" I told him that it was hard to explain...
But it's a feeling somewhere between euthreeia and eufiveia.
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︎ Sep 01 2020
Which Arab country produces the most steel?
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︎ Sep 17 2020
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
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︎ Aug 12 2020
Why does my nose produce so much mucus
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︎ Oct 06 2020
What did the produce employee say to the customer as they walked in?
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︎ Sep 19 2020
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce milk
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︎ Jul 17 2020
My daughter and I went to the grocery store yesterday, and we were amazed by the quality of the produce. We spoke with the Department Manager and offered to buy all of their Romaine
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︎ Aug 11 2020
The platypus and echidna both lay eggs and produce milk
Making them the only animals on the planet capable of whipping their own custard
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︎ Aug 28 2020
A gardener said, "I just finished producing some beets, who wants to check them out?"
The cabin replied, "I only play house music."
The windmill said, "not me, I'm a heavy metal fan."
The backhoe said, "I just dig rock."
The plastic baggie said, "I do, I'm a wrapper!"
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︎ Jun 04 2020
My kids learned if you don't keep vermin out of your garden, you produce more rabbits than vegetables;
it's a problem called ingrown hares.
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︎ Jul 28 2020
What do you call someone who makes fun of produce?
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︎ Jul 14 2020
What do you call bees that can produce milk?
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︎ Jun 27 2020
What insects produce milk?
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︎ May 30 2020
Police were called to the local grocery store today
A man walked into the produce section and took a leek.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Where is truth produced?
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︎ Feb 05 2020
Disney isn't going to die and go out of business even though they completely shut down operations and didn't produce anything for three months.
They just suspended animation.
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︎ May 16 2020
What's the most difficult thing about producing skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across a lake.
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︎ Mar 31 2020
What is common between a boxer, a successful music producer and a good fisherman
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︎ Feb 08 2020
What kind of bees produce milk?
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︎ Oct 18 2020
What kinda bees produce milk?
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︎ Nov 15 2020
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...
I work with beet boxes and I wrap!
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︎ Oct 13 2020
What kind of Bees produce milk?
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︎ Aug 04 2020
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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︎ Apr 17 2020
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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︎ Mar 23 2020
Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.
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︎ Jul 08 2019
What do you call a cow that cannot produce milk?
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︎ Feb 09 2020
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Edit: Wow! Didn't expect this big reaction!
Thanks for the silver!
Edit 2: And gold!? Thanks again! :)
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︎ Feb 06 2019
If a cow doesnβt produce milk, itβs both an udder failure, and a milk dud.
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︎ Mar 25 2019
What kind of bees produce milk ?
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︎ Dec 24 2019
What kind of Bees produce milk instead of honey?
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︎ Oct 24 2019
Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.
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︎ Jan 07 2020
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