For good clean fun.
Crippling Issue
The Mildewey Decimal System.
if all of it applies to the animal, it fulfills the bear minimum
I was crushed by the news.
I said, "I can't tell you."
They don't meet the koala-fications.
Phylum.
...
They classified it as a dick move.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I am schizophrenic and so am I.
I saw him picking up a quarter off the floor.
I said to him, "Is that where you keep all your quarters? That makes a lot of sense."
He says, "Yeah, 25 cents." then laughed for 5 minutes to himself, then kept laughing about it sporadically throughout the day.
Edit: I just wanna say thanks to my s/o /u/rainbowdongs for being so hilarious. <3 Happy anniversary! Love you!
When asked why he always wears a checkered shirt he replied "I like to wear grid patterns so I always look like I'm plotting something"
They don't know where home is.
Roommate: "She waited for me for 2 years, but then we broke up. Now she's married to a guy named Craig."
Me: "Did they meet on Craigslist?"
Groans and laughter ensued. If people laughed maybe it wasn't quite daddy enough.
It’s now classified as an in-continent
it never gets old.
I replied "it must be the rain dear".
They classified it as groundbreaking news.
My dad: Yeah shes getting her limbs torn off...
Not sure if its classified as a dad joke but my dad couldnt stop laughing at his own joke.
So we recently moved from the desert to the coast. The house we moved in to is just up the street from the what we call the bay, everyone else calls the river, but in reality should probably be classified as a sound.
well while exploring the area, we were taking in all the sights and sounds and smells and wildlife. The dialogue went something like this.
me: look at all the trees and birds and seagulls
wife: and bagels
me: .................bagels? where do you see bagels? looks around for truck or store of some kind
wife: the bagels
me: wtf are you......i hate you
Edit: since people don't seem to get it. Baygull
(I'm not even actually a dad, its just a dad-joke, and even then its horrible, I don't even know if it should be classified as a dad joke!)
So I was in history class today and the girl behind me said " There is something in me shoe"
I responded with: "Its probably your foot"
Can anyone give me a list of foods classified as "rich?"
He was classified as silent but deadly.
