When no one is around, I would loudly describe the process of cutting down a single tree.
π︎ 13
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︎ Feb 11 2021
I went to my doctor today and told him I was having problems with my hearing. He asked, βCan you describe the symptoms?β I replied, "Sure..."
βTheyβre yellow, Homerβs fat, and Marge has blue hair.β
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Jul 01 2020
At a job interview I got asked to describe myself in a nutshell
I said it's so dark I can't breathe has anyone got a nut cracker I can't breathe
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︎ Nov 15 2020
I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
π︎ 16k
π
︎ May 14 2020
My doctor was trying to describe the treatment plan for my frostbite.
I couldn't picture it, so she showed me a faux toe.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 09 2021
There is only one way to describe this year for Donald Trump.
π︎ 21
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︎ Dec 27 2020
How could you describe a group of chess grandmasters bragging about their skills in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 09 2020
How do you describe bench-press obsessed army boys insulting each other while they're being shot at?
Chest nuts roasting in open fire
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︎ Jan 02 2021
My teacher asked us to describe our breakfast in one word.
I told her it was surreal
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︎ Dec 17 2020
What does the square root of 2 like to describe something awesome as?
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 08 2020
If I had to describe myself in three words, I'd have to say:
π︎ 17
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︎ Nov 14 2020
How do you describe rotten feta?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
If you asked me how I would describe the best cheese in the world....
I'd say it's legend-dairy.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 03 2020
How did Bruce Lee describe his son Brandon after he was born?
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 13 2020
How would you describe a lousy lumberjack?
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 16 2020
How did Bill Cosby describe the massive earthquake in the Grand Canyon?
βThere was a schism in the chasm.β
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 31 2020
How would I describe the massage I had today?
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 28 2020
How would you describe a type of bread that doesn't exist?
I would just call it naan-existent
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 07 2020
How can you describe Vincent van Gogh?
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 23 2020
When the view is so good that you need to invent a new phrase to describe it !
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 20 2020
I said to my best friend βThe words canβt describe how beautiful you are!
But numbers can. 7/10β(stolen from r/memes)
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︎ Oct 03 2020
How does a baker with siblings for parents describe his occupation?
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 26 2020
How do you quickly describe the explosion of a skyscraper?
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 21 2020
Thereβs only one word to describe a dogβs terrible day
π︎ 36
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︎ Jul 10 2020
How do you describe a blind German?
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 11 2020
Somebody asked me to describe my life as an amputee, but I couldn't answer.
π︎ 65
π
︎ Apr 12 2020
How would you describe the US between 2009 - 2016?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 22 2020
And Bort
π︎ 6k
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︎ Feb 26 2020
Need your best rock/stone based puns
I play dnd and my bard is very annoyed, that our party's druid, who is an earth genasi (appearance was described as a living statue)) won't give anyone his name.
So my bard will only address them with rock based puns until they properly introduce themselves.
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︎ Feb 02 2021
What adjective do you use to describe a pirate with a big butt?
Thiccccccc with seven C's
π︎ 10
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︎ Jun 21 2020
I lost the family thesaurus...
...I couldn't find the words to describe how upset I was.
π︎ 14
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︎ Feb 25 2021
I read a very interesting ancient Egyptian blog post describing the embalming process
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 30 2020
If I had to describe myself in one word..
It would be "bad at following directions"
π︎ 85
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︎ Mar 25 2020
Describe yourself in three words
π︎ 41
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︎ Mar 26 2020
Interviewer: How would you describe yourself?
Me: Verbally. But Iβve also prepared a dance.
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︎ May 01 2020
I finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
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π
︎ Dec 02 2020
I thought of a good word to describe my hands yesterday.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 29 2020
How do you describe a steep joke?
π︎ 9
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︎ Apr 14 2020
People used to describe my father as a real βManβs Manβ the type to get all the men talking at the party. However he never really spoke to me,
I guess to me he was more of a βMimeβs Manβ.
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︎ Apr 30 2020
My wife told me im unable to describe my feelings
Canβt say that Iβm surprised
π︎ 2k
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︎ Feb 22 2019
Being cooped up in the house for so long has led me to attempt new hobbies. As an example, I'm currently studying how to adapt French phrases to describe the situation.
You could say it's my maison d'Γͺtre.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 30 2020
How would you describe an exploding steer?
Abominable (sound it out)
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 13 2020
How would you describe yourself in three words?
π︎ 12
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I went to the doctor because I was having hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms ?", he asked.
I said "Homer's a fat guy and Marge has blue hair"
π︎ 84
π
︎ Apr 04 2020
I lost my thesaurus.
I don't have a word to describe how upset I am.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
The other day, I bought a thesaurus. When I got home, I opened it up and all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Apr 27 2018
Me: Doc, I have hearing problems
Doc: Could you describe the symptoms?
Me: Marge has blue hair and Homer is a fat guy
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 02 2021
I just bought a dictionary today and bought it home to find out that all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
π︎ 38
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︎ Dec 10 2020
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