She seems to be having a field day out there.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ May 17 2021
Nah seems OAK-kay
π︎ 364
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︎ May 20 2021
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
π︎ 247
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︎ May 19 2021
A file on my hard drive. File too big, need a bigger drive, seems corrupted too.
https://preview.redd.it/ny6421gsu6271.jpg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc538636d80299444b89d12aa44a57a44ccaf78a
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 30 2021
saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...
π︎ 196
π
︎ May 08 2021
Seems like he brings a lot to the table XD
π︎ 21
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︎ May 28 2021
Seems like good parenting to me
My son is taking part in a social experiment. He has to wear a "GO VEGAN" t-shirt for 2 weeks and see how people react. So far he's been spit on, punched and had a bottle thrown at him! I'm curious to see what happens once he goes outside.
π︎ 31
π
︎ May 30 2021
My grown son asked me how I never seemed to lose the tv remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
π︎ 19
π
︎ May 17 2021
Today everyone seems a bit...
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jun 01 2021
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
UFO's have been in the news a lot lately but no one seems to care.
Frankly, I think it must be over most people's heads.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 18 2021
What do you call a dog that doesnβt seem to age?
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 30 2021
Seems like a Bassless claim to me
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
Bob Dylan didn't seem surprised when a boulder fell off a mountain on top of his house.
He calmly said it was just like a rolling stone.
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 16 2021
I've been looking around for good, unused dad jokes but can't seem to find any
I guess I'll just have to look even father
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 09 2021
Street sweepers may seem slow, but they're actually really fast.
They're always going "broom, broom."
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 10 2021
The fish in my fish tank seem to be fatigued and in constant pain.
I think it is fibromyalgae.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 22 2021
Why do thermometers seem so shady?
Because theyβre always up to something.
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 03 2021
I just saw an announcement on TV. Seems thereβs a fortune teller that happens to be a dwarf, wanted by the FBI
To sum it up, thereβs a small medium at large.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Apr 04 2021
I tried telling a joke at prom but my audience seemed pretty bored...
I guess the punch line was too long.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 29 2021
Back in my day, high school sports athletic conferences wouldnβt let you participate if you didnβt keep at least a 2.0 grade point average. It seems times have drastically changed...
I just heard about 20,000 leagues under the C!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 13 2021
I seem to have worn out my welcome.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Sep 16 2020
Yoga people never seem to be happy...
They're always bent out if shape.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 27 2021
I donβt know why everyone seem to have a problem with vegans.
I have never had a beef with one.
π︎ 82
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
None of the other subs seem to appreciate my festive Gingerbread house. Maybe you folks would appreciate it?
π︎ 68
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
I really need to stop looking at the internet today. Everything seems to be an April Fool's gag.
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 01 2021
They seem high tech
π︎ 2k
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I was at the store with my wife picking out a turkey and she seemed unimpressed by the size. She asked "do they get any bigger?"
I looked her in the eyes and replied "no honey, they're dead."
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
Seems the Weekend had compete creative control for the halftime special and brought in his own production team.
I guess Everybody's Working For the Weekend.
π︎ 36
π
︎ Feb 08 2021
Honest LPT: I got embarrassed the other day, and want to help other people avoid making my mistake. Now this might seem counterintuitive, but if you come up with a good dad joke MEMORIZD it and NEVER write it down. Because the moment you put it on paper...
π︎ 36
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︎ Jan 26 2021
A guy name .zip seemed depressed, so I tried talking to him...
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
Penny production with Abraham Lincolnβs face seems to be quite low this year.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 04 2021
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music....
Think it's the Chopin board.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
Can't seem to get a job in the Covid Era...
I think I have hired immunitity.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
Internet seems boring in 2021
Or at least not as βflashyβ
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
I saw a tree yesterday.
I didn't trust it, it seemed kinda shady.
π︎ 339
π
︎ May 21 2021
No matter what shampoo I use, I canβt seem to get rid of my dandruff.
Itβs a real head scratcher.
π︎ 56
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
Everyone seems to think next year will bring back some comforts of normalcy
Iβm not so convinced though since 2021 is guaranteed to be an odd year
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
Why do vampires seem sick?
π︎ 24
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︎ Dec 11 2020
I suggested a new name for the planet Saturn to an astrophysicist and he seemed to like it
He said it had a nice ring to it.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
I don't seem to have the enthusiasm to break wind like I used to
In fact, the last few were very half-farted
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
Fight Club is a severely overlooked movie.
Nobody seems to talk about it.
π︎ 98
π
︎ May 27 2021
Iβm a really short guy, and I always seem to pick fights over nothing
Itβs hard trying to be the bigger person!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
It seems my ability to make punsβ¦
β¦has just groan over time.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
All my jokes seem to lack in range.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
π︎ 21
π
︎ Oct 05 2020
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