Why do most IT people remote in to work?

Because it usually is a HARD DRIVE! haha.jpg

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👤︎ u/jacen33a
📅︎ Dec 05 2017
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I bought a remote that can work all the way to space!

Now I can finally watch Satellite TV

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👤︎ u/Iesenji
📅︎ Aug 19 2014
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Found this gem when sitting in a vacant cube in an office I travelled to this morning to work remotely.
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👤︎ u/stahrcrash
📅︎ Sep 25 2019
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You know what's better than working remotely?

Is working occassionally.

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👤︎ u/buttengine
📅︎ Nov 12 2018
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I told one of my students I teach remotely that for their good work I would give them a cookie.

I told them to go to my website.

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👤︎ u/madd74
📅︎ Jan 27 2017
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My programmer husband insists he has to be the one to change the channel

He has a lot experience working remote

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👤︎ u/iceberger3
📅︎ Jan 24 2021
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We have a new employee working remotely

Boss: I'm going to put Tom's cell phone up on the whiteboard.

Me: I don't think he'd like that, maybe you should just put his number

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📅︎ Apr 13 2015
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I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought: "Well this changes everything!"
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👤︎ u/hakced
📅︎ Jun 20 2016
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Dadjoke on my feed the other day... imgur.com/SnMZITF
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👤︎ u/Clambake42
📅︎ Nov 15 2013
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Dad's version of the local news

Dad: So I heard that two guys drowned in [random town] this morning...

Me: That's horrible! What happened?

Dad: Apparently, they were in a kayak and they lit a fire which caused it to sink.

Me: ...that doesn't sound like a good idea...

Dad: Yea well, it just goes to show you can't have your kayak and heat it too....

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👤︎ u/samanna
📅︎ Feb 12 2014
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Feb 22 2016
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My new coworker is going to be a goldmine...

I've only worked with him a day and I've already got these two:

Man "Yeah, I don't really like seafood." Coworker "Oh yeah? What about B-food?"

Man (looking at a remote to lock and unlock a door) "I wonder what the range of this is?" Coworker "Depends...how far can you throw it?"

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👤︎ u/DDiverTitN
📅︎ May 12 2014
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