What religion does a bacteria practice

Botulism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aleksander_fisk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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Did you know that there's a whole religion of people that celebrate Pi day?

They're very pious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tr0ubleBrewing
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"

Slim to Nun?

(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megad1rt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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How does religion work for those who've never had ligion?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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What is the coolest religion?

I can’t remember the name, but i know it is from India and it’s sikh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob_Orehoj
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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If the Mantis'es are praying, what is their religion?

It varies, they're all in sects.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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What is Santa’s religion?

He’s eggnogstic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/my-pp-el-fuego
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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What do you call a religion that worships cannonballs?

Some might say it doesn’t exist so it isn’t canon in history, but if it existed, it would be called.....

Cannibalism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anormalpersonno8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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What happens when a mix of religions go to Mecca?

You get a hajjpodge

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πŸ‘€︎ u/takemytwixbyforce
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I got a warning message from a mod saying β€œmy jokes are bringing to much religion and politics into this sub”

I replied saying β€œlet the people in this sub decide, for christ sake”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Is anyone interested in my religion that worships pinto beans?

We believe they're holy frijoles!

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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I denounce that barbers religion

It's hairesy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashnakag3019
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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If math was a religion...

...I think it would be pretty easy to sin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Justin2019
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Why don't you bring up politics or religion around pirates?

Because they love to arrr-gue and never sea eye-to-eye(patch)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMasonX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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What do you call Batman when he stops doing religion?

Christian Bale

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Knockoff_Sans
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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What religion is Lightning McQueen?

raceism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Macknificent101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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What's the international religion of economics

"Dowism."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusty_marshmello
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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My Indian friend keeps trying to get me to convert to his religion and it's starting to work...

It's Sikh-ening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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Losing my religion
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheineken
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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If you die for your religion in a really stupid way ...

... is that Martyrdum?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeWunderY
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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I wonder why they tell you your cashier's religion on the receipt? imgur.com/gqAIMnr
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthEwok42
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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I asked my cat what religion he is

Response: catlick

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πŸ‘€︎ u/miguel_de_prision
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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In some religions, dividing the opposite side by the hypotenuse is a sin
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adam-P-D
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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Religion is like a swimming pool.

Most of the noise is coming from the shallow end.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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What's the only religion with a diet?

The Episcopaleo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iiWizrius
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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My religion prevents me from throwing out old clothing.

We have been called to be holy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dasvott
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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A Saudi Arabian captain was warming up his ships engines before heading out on patrol, when the religion police came and arrested him and his crew...

They were charged with "Idle Warship".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cry2Laugh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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Never expected to get rich when I started making statues of divine beings in religions

But I am making prophets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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The only religion I support
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dankblazerrr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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As less and less people are buying into religion, prophets are down.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HoshForce
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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As part of my new religion, gluttony shall be given a penance of crunches.

Finally sinners will achieve absolution.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyspaereunia
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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I created my own religion

It's a cult classic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/No_life_I_Lead
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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I changed my religion to follow the teachings of St. Francis, my dad was not pleased

He said 'no son of mine is going to be assisi!'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scamperillium
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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I like to claim that the Greek Orthodox secretly run the world through its financial networks…For some reason people are ok with that, try putting a different religion in there and suddenly you’re a conspiracy theorist and hate criminal

Those Catholics are real sensitive sometimes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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What religion do most llamas practice?

Isllama!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/soggiestwaffles
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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The thief that stole my diary and my book on world religions died today.

My thoughts and prayers are now with his family.

πŸ‘︎ 164
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
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What is a ghosts religion?

Boo-dist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/niggety
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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I recently found out I was gay and changed my religion.

I moved to Utah and converted to Moremen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CecilBlight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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7 day Adventist is the β€˜weekest’ of all organized religions
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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What religion is Chewbacca?

He is Chew-ish!

(Took this from a friend)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Homer_Simpson2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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I recently converted religions and I'll be taking off April 14th in observation of Vaisakhi

I guess that means I'm calling in Sikh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
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I guess one could call Atheism a non-prophet religion
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baronvonweezil
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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why are religions holy?

Because every story is filled with plot holes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beast5534
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2016
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What religion do cats follow?

CATholicism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/guntanis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
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Praying mantises don't all follow the same religion.

They're in sects.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeoplesHero87
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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What is the economic religion?

Dowism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusty_marshmello
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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