Relatable Puns

A mood

A buddy of mine told me he had a controversial opinion on one of my favorite bands, Slipknot. I told him to Spit It Out because I'm (sic) of people beating around the bush.

Hi, I’m going to ask my s.o. to be my Valentine by giving her a stuffed goose (one of my nicknames for her is goose), but I would like to write something cute/funny to go along with it… a goose related pun. Help please!

I work for the government at the Pectagon

My Father had open heart surgery a year ago, a quadruple bypass and to celebrate 1 year of surviving I wanted to get him his favorite cake But I wanted it to say something a little hearty He loves puns and I wanted to do something special for him

Any help is appreciated!

That could lead to a sigh-clone

Preferably about the government, but anything goes.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find the correct web site...

So a colleague is leaving my work (transfusion medicine lab) to work as an information manager for the organ transplant service. I make cards and I’m trying to think up something punny to write on/in his card and I’ll paint a picture on the front for context. I was thinking like “bloody good luck” or “sorry you’re transplanting”... but less shitty!

Thanks in advance :)

https://preview.redd.it/ndctm6eopo471.png?width=926&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=236700fe114dec5d09f18e7446f4c61ab7c2556a

I said, "OK. I'll give it arrest.

I second that.

I'm running an email distro list and have to include a pun every week related to Muay Thai. Can you guys help me with some suggestions? I'm really running out of steam after a couple of months on.

He's now asking that I call him the Halloween Pun King.

My sister is a teacher at a private high school for kids with learning and behavior difficulties. She just texted me for help with a funny slogan about spreading cheer and kicking ass.

Basically, each student "adopted" a teacher and they're going to do some sort of obstacle course. They're Santa's helpers, and have hats, shirts, and swords. She just came up with this idea at the last minute and would like help thinking of a punny tagline.

Any ideas?

Myself and a friend are making a mini action film on GTA V. When I edit it, I’m planning on involving some voiceover but I need a pun for the final kill on the rollercoaster. Any suggestions ?

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place

We need a team name for a Christmas fencing competition. The best name wins a prize, and should hopefully be funny.

We have the obvious ones like, let's make like a tree and leaf and our group is always branching out, but we would love as many as you can come up with!

Thanks guys

I've exhausted all mine.

Lettuce know if you have any

But if Botswana compete with me, that's fine.

I've got work experience at an vet eye specialist clinic, and I want to be thoroughly stacked up on bad puns. Any ideas fellow dads?

So to clarify, a mole is a unit of measurement in chemistry. My chemistry class does this extra credit project every year where you make a diorama of a mole (animal), with some sort of pun. Examples: Mole-sama Bin Laden, Mole Digger, Deadmol3. Help me find a good idea?

doing some last minute marketing, anyone can provide me medical related avengers/marvel pun? no matter how bad it is

What do you call it when you're drowned in chickpea dip?

Hummus-cide

How does a witch like her pasta?

Sorcery

A phone company that a family member works for asked their employees to come up with a pun. She's having trouble, so I told her I'd post here for some help.

She needs a pun relating to something like phone, 4g, call, or anything like that.

Example: Phone thugs-n-harmony

Show me what you got r/puns!

I need some for a contest.

Sovereign about ten minutes, thankfully.

They need to be school friendly

Mole day, like the science thing. But I need puns for the animal. I'm supposed to make something for a project.

I said, “OK…..I’ll give it arrest”

I said, "O.K.....I'll give it arrest.