*knock knock* "Who's there?"

"Pun-patrol! You s-pun around on your chair way beyond government regulations!"

"I can't help it! I'm pun-sexual!"

"Sir, o-pun the door or we will have to use force!"

"Stay back! I have a hostage! I don't care if my crimes will ever get ex-pun-ged!"

"Lay down your wea-pun! Face your pun-ishment!"

"Sir, I just arrived and can confirm, he has a Pun-da!"

"Thank god for your pun-ctuality! This changes everything! Now go and pun-ch down the door!"

crashing noises

"Sir! We have fumes! God, what is this pun-gent smell??"

"Ahaha, you ran into my trap! Now die, Pun-k!"

"AAAAAAAAAAH!"

silence

"No time for com-pun-ction. Come, S-pun-ky, we need to leave. Let's head for Pun-ama."

EDIT: formatting.

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👤︎ u/D0tBlue
📅︎ Apr 02 2019
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What do you call a royal sea bird?

Regull.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Dec 30 2018
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The front of an FDA guide on marijuana

FDA Regulation of Marijuana: Past Actions, Future Plans Douglas C. Throckmorton, M.D. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) ICSB/ASP Joint Meeting April 12, 2016


A Joint meeting on marijuana...

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📅︎ Apr 23 2018
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Only cabbage for Christmas

So my wife was rooting through my desk to get an envelope and stumbled across one of her Christmas presents that I hadn't wrapped yet. I told her that she's bad for snooping and that I would have to send it back.

Due to recent environmental regulations and the price of coal, it is no longer given to naughty people for Christmas. Instead you get a cabbage. It will come thinly sliced with mayonnaise.

This is known as Coal's Law.

"That was the whole setup wasn't it for that line"

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👤︎ u/mjbehrendt
📅︎ Nov 30 2018
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I had to fire someone for wearing too much aftershave at work.

It was a fragrant breach of the regulations.

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📅︎ Dec 28 2013
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Legal Cake

Uncle: "You know the Bavarian Purity Laws that regulate the ingredients in German beer? In Vienna they have similar laws regulating pastry." Me: "Oh really? Cake laws?" Uncle: "Actually, they call them Torte Laws."

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📅︎ Sep 30 2013
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