My friend said, βMy kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?β
Me: Cats. Cats love fish.
π︎ 598
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
Karenβs refuse to wear masks
I guess they are not Karen for themselves
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
What kind of vegetable refuses to talk to you?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
What happens when people refuse to social distance?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
Did you hear that they're replacing two letters of the alphabet? Instead of T, you have to say "Clowns". Instead of V, you need to say "Jokers". I refuse to use them, but I was singing the alphabet when they changed them, so I have a problem...
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with U.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to stand up.
I always see Himalayan there.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
Those people who refuse to date foot amputees?
They are lack toes intolerant.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
What do you call a girl who refuses to pay her bills?
Burnadebt
(Just thought of this and I gotta admit...I'm a little bit proud of myself.)
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
What do you call a police officer who refuses to get out of bed?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 23 2020
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
I absolutely refuse to vaccinate my kids.
I'll have the doctor do it instead; he's trained for it.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
I confronted my friend Mark because he refuses to return my dictionary.
I said, βMark, my words!β
π︎ 27
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
The Senate majority leader refuses to acknowledge the election results.
Heβs acting like a real Mitch.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time,
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
π︎ 86
π
︎ Aug 27 2020
Why did the LGBTQ pilot refuse to fly 747s?
He said he prefers bi-planes
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
What do you call a donkey that refuses to move?
π︎ 40
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
Why did the Sushi chef refuse to serve the musician?
π︎ 48
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
Why did the drowning Pharoah refuse to ask for help?
π︎ 40
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
Why did the Pharaoh refuse to believe his son had drowned?
Because he was in The Nile
π︎ 31
π
︎ Aug 21 2020
Any time I ask my dad how he learned Braille, he refuses to give me a straight answer.
For him, itβs a touchy subject.
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
Cardi Bβs sister used to spy for the Russian government, but refuses to talk about it publicly
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
What do you call a parrot that refuses to eat?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
Apparently thereβs a group down the street thatβs amazing at grabbing things, but they refuse to do it when Iβm around.
They never seize to amaze me
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 25 2020
I refuse to vote for anyone in the dried fruit competition.
There aren't any good candied-dates.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
My son refuses to eat rice if it in not white.
I said βSon, thatβs ricest!β
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 28 2020
Why did the hippopotami refuse to change?
Because they live in the Nile!
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 01 2020
Why did the bacteria refuse the invitation to the rodeo?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
Why did the man refuse to jump out the window?
He didn't want to go through any pane.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
I refuse to let my kids join orchestra.
I would hate for them to resort to violins.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 04 2020
My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to sleep.
I guess it's an insomni-yak
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
Why did the yogi refuse anesthetic to have his tooth extracted?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 31 2020
Why did Bernie Sanders refuse to return to the Senate after the primaries?
He wanted to practice socialist distancing
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 23 2020
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 23 2020
Whenever I say anything to my horse, he denies it, refuses it, opposes it, or is skeptical or cynical about it.
π︎ 102
π
︎ Dec 28 2019
Why did the military general refuse to use social media?
It was his personal creed to never surrender or retweet.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 23 2020
My Chinese friend refuses to believe that our friend Ty is now the state boxing champion.
The Chinese donβt want to recognize Ty won.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jul 11 2018
My wife refuses to go to karaoke with me.
π︎ 39
π
︎ Nov 26 2019
My friend said, βMy kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?β
βA catβ I said. βCats love fish.
π︎ 64
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time...
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
π︎ 310
π
︎ Apr 21 2020
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time.
Are they guilty of resisting a rest?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
My Himalayan friend has a bull that refuses to stand up.
I always see Himalayan there.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 17 2020
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time...
Are they guilty of resisting a rest?
π︎ 22
π
︎ May 11 2020
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
π︎ 155
π
︎ Nov 15 2019
If my kid refuses to sleep when itβs nap time,
Does that mean heβs guilty for resisting a rest?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Feb 26 2020
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, does that mean they're guilty of resisting a rest?
π︎ 114
π
︎ Sep 30 2019
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
π︎ 102
π
︎ Oct 30 2019
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Nov 09 2017
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