My friend said, β€œMy kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?”

Me: Cats. Cats love fish.

πŸ‘︎ 598
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Karen’s refuse to wear masks

I guess they are not Karen for themselves

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of vegetable refuses to talk to you?

An incommunivocado.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rhesusfecespieces
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What happens when people refuse to social distance?

It all ends in tiers...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ForOneDayOnly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that they're replacing two letters of the alphabet? Instead of T, you have to say "Clowns". Instead of V, you need to say "Jokers". I refuse to use them, but I was singing the alphabet when they changed them, so I have a problem...

Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with U.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to stand up.

I always see Himalayan there.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Those people who refuse to date foot amputees?

They are lack toes intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a girl who refuses to pay her bills?

Burnadebt

(Just thought of this and I gotta admit...I'm a little bit proud of myself.)

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zipflop
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a police officer who refuses to get out of bed?

An undercover cop.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?

If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jas280z
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I absolutely refuse to vaccinate my kids.

I'll have the doctor do it instead; he's trained for it.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I confronted my friend Mark because he refuses to return my dictionary.

I said, β€œMark, my words!”

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The Senate majority leader refuses to acknowledge the election results.

He’s acting like a real Mitch.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zkck0517
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time,

are they guilty of resisting a rest?

πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timeforclock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the LGBTQ pilot refuse to fly 747s?

He said he prefers bi-planes

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a donkey that refuses to move?

Bad ass.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ConstableBrew
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Sushi chef refuse to serve the musician?

Cause he was outta tuna.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rpdaca
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the drowning Pharoah refuse to ask for help?

he was in de Nile

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/growupyall
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Pharaoh refuse to believe his son had drowned?

Because he was in The Nile

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoNocive
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Any time I ask my dad how he learned Braille, he refuses to give me a straight answer.

For him, it’s a touchy subject.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Cardi B’s sister used to spy for the Russian government, but refuses to talk about it publicly

They call her Cagey B.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a parrot that refuses to eat?

A poly-no-meal!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeanStillYeets
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently there’s a group down the street that’s amazing at grabbing things, but they refuse to do it when I’m around.

They never seize to amaze me

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/solemnbiscuit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I refuse to vote for anyone in the dried fruit competition.

There aren't any good candied-dates.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ApologeticKid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My son refuses to eat rice if it in not white.

I said β€œSon, that’s ricest!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaryLightly33
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the hippopotami refuse to change?

Because they live in the Nile!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MathyThunder
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the bacteria refuse the invitation to the rodeo?

They’re too cultured.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiktok131
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the man refuse to jump out the window?

He didn't want to go through any pane.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pengwin34
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I refuse to let my kids join orchestra.

I would hate for them to resort to violins.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SilentEdge
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to sleep.

I guess it's an insomni-yak

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the yogi refuse anesthetic to have his tooth extracted?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Bernie Sanders refuse to return to the Senate after the primaries?

He wanted to practice socialist distancing

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?

Cause he was an outdoor cat.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Whenever I say anything to my horse, he denies it, refuses it, opposes it, or is skeptical or cynical about it.

He's a real neighsayer.

πŸ‘︎ 102
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the military general refuse to use social media?

It was his personal creed to never surrender or retweet.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stooftheoof
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My Chinese friend refuses to believe that our friend Ty is now the state boxing champion.

The Chinese don’t want to recognize Ty won.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife refuses to go to karaoke with me.

I have to duet alone.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend said, β€œMy kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?”

β€œA cat” I said. β€œCats love fish.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time...

are they guilty of resisting a rest?

πŸ‘︎ 310
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EnUddaGamer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time.

Are they guilty of resisting a rest?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Grandcanyon19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My Himalayan friend has a bull that refuses to stand up.

I always see Himalayan there.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time...

Are they guilty of resisting a rest?

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProGamer14719
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 155
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ioannis_03
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
If my kid refuses to sleep when it’s nap time,

Does that mean he’s guilty for resisting a rest?

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1Random_Redditor1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, does that mean they're guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 114
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CarsonLarson
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 102
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/korpsart
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
🚨︎ report

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