What did the rhinoceros do about his rash?
He went to the pachydermatologist.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
My boss asked me, "Why do you come out in rashes every time I give you your wages ?"
I said, "Because I am allergic to peanuts."
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
What do you give a pig with a rash?
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Nov 23 2019
My son keeps making rash decisions.
As a dermatologist, it's all in a day's work.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 06 2020
Why did it take dad an hour to choose which skin cream to buy?
He didn't want to make a rash decision.
π︎ 81
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
A policeman pulled me over and handed a bottle of cream...
Apparently I'm a rash driver.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Feb 08 2021
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called '1001 cures for itches."
I guess, I've got to start again from scratch.
π︎ 47
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
My dad just said "Teddy with a rash" to himself and rubbed his hands together as we got in the car..
When I asked what he meant he said "sore-ted" and I just shook my head.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 10 2019
My Dr didnβt immediately treat my poison ivy reaction.
He doesnβt like to make rash decisions.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
What kind of rash does an apatosaurus get?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 24 2019
The number 1 in Japan must be a rash.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jan 25 2019
Rash decisions
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Oct 31 2013
My Dermatologist was fired today
He made too many rash decisions
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
My daughter has a fungal rash on her cheek, so my wife calls her a mushroom when applying the ointment.
I tell my daughter, βItβs ok, Iβm a fungi too!β
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 17 2019
My friend broke out crying when I mentioned her hand rash.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 25 2019
What do pigs put on their rashes?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 19 2019
My 1 week old son has some bad diaper rash.
Heβs pretty butthurt about it.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 06 2019
Why canβt you trust dermatologists?
They make rash decisions.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
Rash Decisions
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Sep 07 2013
I broke out with a rash due to an adverse reaction to something.
While listing the things I ate and touched that morning to the doctor I mentioned I had a piece of a pineapple upside-down cake; my dad who was in the room with me chuckled and said to the doctor "he always had problems with upside-down cakes, but not right-side up ones. Rest of the day he kept telling people that's the reason I had an allergic reaction.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 21 2018
What does a pig put on rashes?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 13 2018
What do pigs put on a rash?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Aug 30 2014
Did you hear everybody who works down at the hospital got some kind of skin rash?
They think it's a staff infection.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 26 2018
I tried to get rid of this rash on my foot, but I couldn't.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Nov 29 2016
Diaper rash is a pain in the ass
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 06 2016
I asked my dermatologist why my skin is so itchy a year ago, and he still hasnβt answered me.
Iβm starting to think that he doesnβt want to make a rash decision.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
So I asked my dad if he had any rash cream..
He hands me this: http://imgur.com/NSdNJTP
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 13 2015
I tried to cheat during my jog by taking a shortcut through some bushes, but I didnβt realize it was poison ivy...
That was a rash decision.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 09 2020
I made the decision to not date the girl with skin lesions on her face too hastily...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 30 2020
I never think twice about scratching myself
it's always a rash decision
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 19 2020
I take my time when choosing a diaper cream...
I don't want to make a quick, rash decision!
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 03 2020
βIβd like to prescribe you a topical ointment for your skin irritation,β my doctor said.
βWoah, woah, doc,β I said, βLetβs not make any rash decisions.β
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 20 2020
I just spent hundreds of dollars online buying expensive ointments for my skin condition.
That was a rash decision.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 02 2019
My nurse just shook her head.
A patient came to the ER with a rash that she had been scratching for a few days. I told her it was an allergic reaction and that I'd prescribe her steroid cream. She asked me if she'd be discharged soon.
I said "Wow. You're really ... itching to get out of here."
Silence, then groans. Just the response I was looking for.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Mar 15 2015
My doctor couldn't decide if they wanted to prescribe me hydrocortisone or diphenhydramine.
and in the end they had to make a rash decision
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 24 2019
My wife offered me some benadryl for my poison ivy, but I told her I'd have to think about it.
I don't want to make any rash decisions right away.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 10 2019
After having an allergic reaction to poison ivy I decided not to get it treated...
man have I made a rash decision
π︎ 23
π
︎ Apr 17 2019
Iβm allergic to charcoal
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 06 2019
Bathroom dad joked my eight year old
My three year old daughter needs help wiping her backside after using the bathroom (#2) sometimes. It's that or she might get a rash... oh, the joys of parenting. My eight year old son was in the hallway.
Son: Dad, why do you need to help [daughter] wipe her butt?
Me: Because she does a shitty job.
(Yes, in the interest of the dad joke, I did say shit to my eight year old. He's heard it before.)
π︎ 1k
π
︎ May 07 2014
I got the sack from the Dermatology Clinic for misdiagnosing shingles...
Which I thought was a little rash.
From Dad Joke of the day on facebook.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 24 2019
My doctor prescribed me ointment for my impulsiveness.
He said it would help with my rash decisions.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 10 2019
It's very stressful working with dermatologists.
They're always making rash decisions.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 13 2019
Me to SO: I had a dream that a cow tried to sell me spoiled milk...
SO: really???
Me: It was udderly ridiculous.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 28 2018
The doctor gave me advice about my allergic reaction...
He warned me not to do make any rash decisions
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 11 2019
Here's the skinny
A friend asked "What does it mean if your palm itches?"
I replied "I'm sorry I don't make rash decisions."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 28 2018
My Dermatologist was fired today...
...they say he was just making too many rash decisions.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
What does a pig apply when it has a rash?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 13 2018
I took a shortcut through some bushes, but didnβt realize I was walking into poison ivy...
That was a rash decision.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 25 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
