After a bad diy project, a load of books fell on my head.
I have only my shelf to blame.
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︎ May 11 2021
Currently working on a new project- Twitter: The Movie
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︎ May 31 2021
My son refused to do a video project with another student at school. I asked why he was so opposed to it and he said.....
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︎ May 31 2021
Contractor walks to the corner of a new project
Says, βfrom the right angle this looks great!β
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︎ May 16 2021
Working on a home construction project and felt like relaxing with drink. Of course it's unsafe to mix alcohol with power tools.
Which is why I mixed my drink with a spoon instead.
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︎ Feb 05 2021
Lancelot: Men, this is a project where we all need to work together.
Arthur: Unite?
Lancelot: Yes I am.
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︎ Feb 01 2021
What do you call a fuzzy ceramics project?
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︎ Jan 09 2021
We must create artistic compositions made of various materials glued on a surface for my Art 419 class project...
I guess I'll give it the old collage try.
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Count Dracula is a terrible project manager...
... He always avoid the stakeholders.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
My daughter's teacher gave her a project to write the English alphabet on slips of paper. Unfortunately 25 letter slips got wrinkled on her way to school.
But atleast she has a smoothie
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︎ Sep 24 2020
This Is A Paid advertisement: Have a home project youβre working on? For a limited time, Lowes Home Improvement is now selling Levels 2 for the price of 1!
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︎ Sep 28 2020
As a globe restorer, I never turn down projects where I have to fill in missing countries or islands. But missing equators?
Thatβs when I draw the line.
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︎ Oct 08 2020
A good project manager makes updates.
A bad project manager makes up dates.
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︎ Sep 03 2020
There are rumors that Tesla is considering on a stretched, three row version of their Model X SUV. The project is on Musk's desk waiting for a decision on whether to go forward.
Their next car is Elon gated.
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︎ Sep 10 2020
My wife threw a saucer at me because I hadn't completed the science project of our kid until then. Interestingly, he won first prize at school for presenting a
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Paper based puns for a project about turning paper into plastics
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︎ Feb 17 2020
How do you call a Photoshop project file that gave you anxiety ?
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︎ Jul 23 2020
The project to restore Big Ben was a bit behind schedule, so the construction company put on a third shift...
Men are now working around the clock.
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︎ Jul 19 2020
A brother and sister were working with each other on a science project.
While the sister was working the brother was walking around doing nothing
5 minutes pass
B: Ow
S: You alright
B: Yeah, just bumped into the table
S: Where does it hurt
B: Mitosis
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︎ Aug 08 2020
Iβve been working on a passion project called βThe Dirtiest Dishesβ
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︎ Mar 25 2020
What will newborn babies become if the Goverment use them in a secret military project?
They wil be some fine ass Infantry
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︎ May 09 2020
A music project in the ghetto taught a lot of youngsters to play string instruments. The crime rate dropped significantly.
But now they have a lot of violins
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︎ Dec 28 2019
I made a Dot Plot Graph in 2 minutes for my Science project
It wasn't the most accurate, but it gets the point across.
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︎ Dec 07 2019
The next Disney+ project, is a Star Wars/ Back to the Future crossover. Deer Brown gets a bounty hunter to stay in the car.
That way, they'll always have the Manned Delorean available.
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︎ Dec 23 2019
Years ago at my first IT startup we thought we'd caught a big break when we were asked to set up the campus network at a major college. However, the project eventually fell through when they failed to secure the necessary funding.
I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.
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︎ Jul 05 2019
My family was talking about my sisters project where she had to make a Roman theatre. In it she put some guys stabbing each other, as a demonstration of how plays sometimes consisted of people actually killing each other to make it more realistic.
I mentioned that they used slaves and criminals, since they would have a hard time getting actors to play the part of someone that actually dies, and my dad disagreed.
He said: No, people were dying to have that job.
Sorry if something like this has already been posted.
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︎ Oct 08 2019
A husband and wife architect team were planning their next project . . .
The domineering wife thought the house needed a cantilevered balcony while the husband thought that it would ruin the aesthetic of the design. She told him he was an idiot and to keep his mouth shut. His friends hated to see her treat him so badly.
They always said βWhy cantilever?β
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︎ Oct 05 2019
My child was setting up a science homework project on the dinner table. I swiped the table clean and threw the table outside. He asked "what was that for?"
I said, it's a periodic table. You cant use it right now.
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︎ Jul 16 2019
Did you know during the third Reich there was a project to produce energy from a certain type of grain
I'm surprised you never heard of Hitler's rice to power
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︎ May 22 2019
My friends and I are doing a project on Mars and our group name was, βDeimos! at the Discoβ
Because Deimos and Phobos are Marsβs moons.
Phobos means Fear and you can guess what Deimos means
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︎ Mar 19 2019
I need to make a project for school. I've decided to make mine about why some men get madder than some women, or vice versa.
It'll be called "The Gender Rage Gap"
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︎ Nov 07 2018
A school artwork project..
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︎ Sep 20 2018
I am a do it yourselfer. I WAS working on a homemade sunscreen project but set it aside...
I put it on the back burner.
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︎ Jul 13 2019
My son told me that he needed supervision for a school project he was working on
I asked him, "Since when is regular vision not good enough?"
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︎ Mar 09 2019
My son had a project on killer whales, and I decided to send my own project as well
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︎ May 24 2018
Back in Taiwan, I had a pair science project to make a miniature biplane. His last name was the same as mine.
And in the end, two Wongs made a Wright.
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︎ Feb 16 2017
I need a pun for my science fair project from this
I'm doing a project that involves testing uv(a) rays on inside/outside cheek bacteria to see how much damage uv rays do. Thanks!
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︎ Jan 07 2017
Our project was a bust
We got ahead of ourselves.
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︎ Apr 18 2018
I need help coming up with βbearβ puns for a school project
Trying to think these up has been unbearable
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︎ Feb 19 2021
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