In order to have a murder of crows, there must be probable caws.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GenuinePenguin12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Is it probable to choke on a thick steak?

I guess the steaks are high.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrHollowed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
He probably wasn't bready for it
πŸ‘︎ 132
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_night_camel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I probably won't see Wonder Woman 1984 when it comes out.

I still haven't seen Wonder Woman 2 through 1983.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
It probably did ...
πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/strName
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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You probably haven’t heard of that new movie, "Constipation"

It hasn’t come out yet.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate my math class probability course

What are the odds?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AceBalistic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My 16 year old son told me I was a simp (probably because I'm looking to get into a new relationship), after I looked up the meaning I told him:

You must be a Simpson then.

πŸ‘︎ 479
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HosfordHusky
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Operating a solar farm is probably easy

After all, it's a light crop

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RKO-Cutter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
If your name is Foster you're probably an orphan.

Because your parents are Foster parents.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smakattak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone: "If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14 day quarantine you probably should've been seeing a doctor long before COVID-19"

My response: "144? That's a gross"

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzywaffles84
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Probably has been done before, but here:
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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He might have lost this election but he will probably run again in 4 years...

He's just Biden his time

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
probably a Ford siesta because i like napping while taking a drive
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Probably the real monster Eminem was talking about
πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LBJM18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?

Probably not, they've never had a hit.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dotFuture
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
It probably did
πŸ‘︎ 245
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImElyk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.

I was crushed by the news.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter said she did not understand probability

I said, "What are the chances"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xilacxilac
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A $9.99. Nintendo Switch! If it's too good to be true, it probably is...
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSonsofAtreus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Probably the scariest book of them all
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vortboy1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
When i heared that they removed Trump from the white house after realizing he probably wasn't the right man for the job..

..all i could do was shake my head and mumble... "Unpresidented"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snugl-v203
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Probably already here but who cares?
πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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Why don't they ever charge Santa for break and enter?

They can never find probable Clause

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NateTheSimpleOne
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't professional boxers have sex before a fight ?

Thy probably don't like each other.

πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
She probably said, "Let's weight"
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crypt0sh0t
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
why don't Greeks like getting up in the morning?

Well, probably because dawn is tough on Greece

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leadonNC
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
My car was wrecked by a sheep the other day.

In hindsight, the sheep probably shouldn't have been driving in the first place.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M1ghty_boy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
It’s probably not safe for me to be driving this car right now.

But hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Lipton probably saw many different pitchers of its brewed beverages before settling for the one on its iconic package...

They auditioned many before choosing the best model tea.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
When life gives you melons

You’re probably dyslexic

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/j-crz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the joke about the coronavirus?

I probably shouldn’t spread it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yoav-bam
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
There’s probably a lot of kids being conceived during this crisis

And in 13 years they will all be called quaran-teens.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/derpydur
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I’d tell you a Fibonacci joke, but’s it’s probably as bad as the last two you’ve heard combined
πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nh-278
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
The coronavirus will probably be the closest thing to a crown that Prince Charles will ever get.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ak171
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Oman! You’re about to read some terrible stuff.

β€œI live in Spain without the β€˜s’”.

This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.

It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the β€œBah”.

  1. I have a double China without the β€œa”.

  2. Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the β€œan”.

  3. Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.

  4. You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the β€œJ”.

  5. You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the β€œKu”.

  6. Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.

  7. As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the β€œNe”.

All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food. Why am I always India-r need of food?

I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the β€œDen”, of course.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anipanreads
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
They probably sound really good
πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Longg_Kong
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
People who live on a farm have the best built legs

That's probably because of all the calf raises they do all the time.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shoor_veer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the name of Daniel Craig's last movie?

Probably, "Bond Voyage."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Brother asked me where the jumper cables were.

I said probably trying to start some shit.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Space-Crack00
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Dad jokes that you overuse in public that infuriate your partner?

So my partner probably wants to stab me more than i think. Almost every time she ask is me to β€œput the kettle on” I respond β€œI can’t, it won’t fit” or if we’re shopping and I’m asked β€œdo you need a bag” I point at her and say β€œit’s fine I brought my own” there are others, but they currently evade my 2am brain.

I feel I need some new ones to keep her on her toes and what better place than this sanctum of one liners (except for this post, for which I apologise).

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/batchyyyyy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Probably a repost
πŸ‘︎ 650
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drunkyjimmybob
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A small boy went to sex ed class and then asked his father

is this a dad joke? No, son, its not. he replied. Can we stop it with all the sex jokes please? they aren't dad jokes and probably belong in plain old /r/jokes.

Sorry for the anti joke here, but its really getting old.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IGotSkills
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Choose a major you love

and you'll never work a day in your life because that field probably isn't hiring

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moiKeshav
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
There is only a murder of crows, when there is probable caws
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EJustice1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report

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