In order to have a murder of crows, there must be probable caws.
Is it probable to choke on a thick steak?
I guess the steaks are high.
He probably wasn't bready for it
I probably won't see Wonder Woman 1984 when it comes out.
I still haven't seen Wonder Woman 2 through 1983.
You probably haven’t heard of that new movie, "Constipation"
I hate my math class probability course
My 16 year old son told me I was a simp (probably because I'm looking to get into a new relationship), after I looked up the meaning I told him:
You must be a Simpson then.
Operating a solar farm is probably easy
After all, it's a light crop
If your name is Foster you're probably an orphan.
Because your parents are Foster parents.
Someone: "If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14 day quarantine you probably should've been seeing a doctor long before COVID-19"
My response: "144? That's a gross"
Probably has been done before, but here:
He might have lost this election but he will probably run again in 4 years...
probably a Ford siesta because i like napping while taking a drive
Probably the real monster Eminem was talking about
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
My daughter said she did not understand probability
I said, "What are the chances"
A $9.99. Nintendo Switch! If it's too good to be true, it probably is...
Probably the scariest book of them all
When i heared that they removed Trump from the white house after realizing he probably wasn't the right man for the job..
..all i could do was shake my head and mumble... "Unpresidented"
Probably already here but who cares?
Why don't they ever charge Santa for break and enter?
They can never find probable Clause
Why don't professional boxers have sex before a fight ?
Thy probably don't like each other.
She probably said, "Let's weight"
why don't Greeks like getting up in the morning?
Well, probably because dawn is tough on Greece
My car was wrecked by a sheep the other day.
In hindsight, the sheep probably shouldn't have been driving in the first place.
It’s probably not safe for me to be driving this car right now.
But hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.
Lipton probably saw many different pitchers of its brewed beverages before settling for the one on its iconic package...
They auditioned many before choosing the best model tea.
When life gives you melons
Did you hear the joke about the coronavirus?
I probably shouldn’t spread it.
There’s probably a lot of kids being conceived during this crisis
And in 13 years they will all be called quaran-teens.
I’d tell you a Fibonacci joke, but’s it’s probably as bad as the last two you’ve heard combined
The coronavirus will probably be the closest thing to a crown that Prince Charles will ever get.
Oman! You’re about to read some terrible stuff.
“I live in Spain without the ‘s’”.
This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.
It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the “Bah”.
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I have a double China without the “a”.
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Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the “an”.
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Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.
-
You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the “J”.
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You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the “Ku”.
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Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.
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As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the “Ne”.
All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food.
Why am I always India-r need of food?
I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the “Den”, of course.
They probably sound really good
People who live on a farm have the best built legs
That's probably because of all the calf raises they do all the time.
What is the name of Daniel Craig's last movie?
Brother asked me where the jumper cables were.
I said probably trying to start some shit.
Dad jokes that you overuse in public that infuriate your partner?
So my partner probably wants to stab me more than i think. Almost every time she ask is me to “put the kettle on” I respond “I can’t, it won’t fit” or if we’re shopping and I’m asked “do you need a bag” I point at her and say “it’s fine I brought my own” there are others, but they currently evade my 2am brain.
I feel I need some new ones to keep her on her toes and what better place than this sanctum of one liners (except for this post, for which I apologise).
A small boy went to sex ed class and then asked his father
is this a dad joke?
No, son, its not. he replied. Can we stop it with all the sex jokes please? they aren't dad jokes and probably belong in plain old /r/jokes.
Sorry for the anti joke here, but its really getting old.
Choose a major you love
and you'll never work a day in your life because that field probably isn't hiring
There is only a murder of crows, when there is probable caws
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