What are the odds?
"This is going to revolutionize tables forever!"
Certain related tribes in sub-Saharan Africa often raided each other's villages when most folk were herding animals. Sometimes they would take vegetables and water, but more often taking little things, to gently mock each other. It was all in good fun. After a successful raid, the "winning" tribe would celebrate by dancing under the stars, or in one of their large, grass-covered spirit houses.
One day, the Imaqi took their Satari shaman's sceptre. The following day, the Satari not only stole the sceptre back, but also the Imaqi chief's regalia.
It went back and forth, until, on a rare and daring escapade, three Imaqi warriors stole the Santari chief's throne. They put it on display, above their chief's throne in the spirit house.
The Imaqi thought that this was hilarious, and as it was beginning to rain, made merry and danced in the spirit house. Suddenly, the heavy throne on display fell down and killed a number of the dancing revelers.
The moral should be obvious: those who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
That snow coincidence.
Easter and Valentine's Day are a couple other good cand-y-dates.
Because adding just one more would make it too farty. Straight from my 7 year old daughter.
Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. I showed my daughter how many people saw and appreciated her humor and she's extatic. I know she probably didn't come up with the joke herself but this was one of the first times she really got me with a good one and I thought I'd share it with some fellow dads and others.
"It's worth a shot!"
I still haven't seen Wonder Woman 2 through 1983.
My response: "144? That's a gross"
You must be a Simpson then.
It hasn’t come out yet.
Me: You’re doing it right now.
Your Brain: I probably won’t do that.
Me: You have to read this dad joke backwards for it to make sense.
Told him to use both and he’d probably find him a lot quicker.
He replied " I am probably a Type O"
After all, it's a light crop
Because your parents are Foster parents.
The rabbit says, “I’m probably a Type-O”
A heavily pregnant woman walks into a bar in the middle of summer and orders a big glass of ice water. "Boy it's a scorcher out there," she says to the bartender. "Sometimes I wonder if it is too hot for the little guy in here." "Oh I wouldn't worry about it," the bartender replies. "It's probably just womb temperature."
I was crushed by the news.
When lemons give you life, you probably have scurvy. (Courtesy of my own father)
He's just Biden his time
I told him he would probably find him faster he used both.
Kid: Hey dad, look at that! (Points with his finger to something off in the distance.)
Me: (Looking in direction he's pointing) What? Where? I don't see anything.
Kid: (Still pointing) Right there, look, you see it?
Me: (Still looking, getting annoyed that I don't see it) WHAT? What is it??
Kid: (Holding up the same finger) It's my finger!
I have been doing this to him recently and it always gets him. I love that he's able to totally get me with it now.
Edit: MY oldest, not Mt oldest. Not sure what the oldest mountain is, but it probably isn't as funny as my oldest kid is becoming.
Probably scratching the inside of her coffin.....
But hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.
Probably because the tomatoes are strained
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
Well if I’m talking to drugs, I’ve probably already said yes.
The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"
"I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.
The nurse asked the rabbit: "what is your blood type?" "I'm probably a type O" said the rabbit.
Me: You’re doing it right now.
Your Brain: I probably won’t do that.
Me: You have to read this dad joke backwards for it to make sense.
The nurse asked the rabbit: "What is your blood type?"
"I am probably a type O" said the rabbit.
