Law students have to do bench presses in order to become a lawyer.
That's why it's called the bar exam.
Today, the kids were making some Christmas crafts. My dad presses one of those plastic googly eyes into my palm, leans in close and says..
".. I'm keeping my eye on you."
I freaking love that guy.
I don't know why I'm so afraid of pressing buttons.
I just can't put my finger on it.
My wife said “I’m going to press some garlic now”
I said “that’s impressive!”
One of my fathers last wishes was to have his ashes pressed into a record....
It was his vinyl request.
How do you describe bench-press obsessed army boys insulting each other while they're being shot at?
Chest nuts roasting in open fire
Why did Karen press CTRL + Alt + Delete?
She wanted the Task Manager.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
Constitutional rights at stake.
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
Dad to Son: "Have you heard about the new online game that's just been released that's heaps popular and getting a lot of press?
Son: "What's it called?"
Dad: "Month."
Son: "Huh?"
Dad: "Apparently it's twice as good as Fortnite".
I read a press release from Heinz saying: "We will never make a Bolognese version of our Alphabetti Spaghetti.
I thought, Blimey. They don't mince their words.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough.
He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.
I got sad while reading a story about a deer who died from a hydraulic press...
It was very deer-pressing...
I just learned how the penny press at the mint works.
It makes cents if you think about it.
When Biden pressed Trump about his Chinese bank account, Trump admitted...
Why was the Press Secretary hard to understand?
She wasn't McEnany sense.
What do you call a cute button, which on pressing norifies the house owner to open the door?
I got hit in the head by a can of Coke today.
I'm okay, it was a soft drink.
I asked my husband to please press pause
and he did so on our dog’s paws
I've been bench pressing 10 dictionaries everyday for the past 4 weeks.
I've finally got some definition in my arms.
My friend got fired at the fizzy drinks factory today.
The gyms must stay open.
The Constitution guarantees the Freedom of the Press!
Heal me friends I'm ddddddddddddddd....
I feel bad for fizzy drink bottles
Their life is soda pressing.
It's tough to admit that I'm using too much weight on my bench press.
I'm having a hard time getting this off my chest.
Why did the can crusher quit his job?
Because it was soda-pressing.
My friend composes songs about sewing machines
He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams.
I got a job crushing cans, and I hate it.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
I spent all day crushing coke cans yesterday.
Which key on the keyboard does Lewis Hamilton like to press the most ?
Why princess ariel didn't finish high school?
Because her grades were always under the C.
A person who crushes can for a living is always sad
Because his job is Soda pressing
I used to work as a can crusher
Why did Karen press CTRL + Alt + Delete?
She wanted the Task Manager.
Why did Karen press Shift-Control-Escape on her PC?
She wanted to see the Task Manager.
Why did Karen press ctrl+alt+delete?
She wanted to talk to the task manager.
I love pressing the F5 key.
Why did Karen press Ctrl+Alt+Del
She wanted to see the task manager
Finally got a steady job, crushing cans
Why did the Karen press ctrl+alt+del?
She wanted to see the task manager
When my father dies he wants his ashes pressed into a record
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