Why can't you hide while wearing polka dots?

Because you'll always be spotted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ICWhatsNUrP
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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A woman actually wrote the song: "Itsy-Bitsy, Teenie-Weenie, Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini."

A man would have written: "Itsy-Bitsy, GIANT CRANK, Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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I drank something at a bar and sang polka parodies for a good 15 minutes

That was some weird al cohol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoruscareGames
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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My daughter doesn't wear polka dot dresses anymore...

... because every time she does, I poke all the dots saying, "Nice poke-a-dot dress, hun!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paleran
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2014
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Did you hear about the artist that has been drawing very small, colorful noodles?

He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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Within a decade, Pole Dancing will be an Olympic sport.

Then you'll be sorry you tossed out all of your grandparents polka music.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JazzboTN
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
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Halloween Puns

Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.


Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!


Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!


For Halloween I’m going to write β€œLife” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers


This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues


β€œHalloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.


Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!


I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.


How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!


When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day


What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!


What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood


What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us


What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A β€œhollow-weenie!”


Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).


How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.



I’m going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do… by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,


Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, β€œA lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?” The other monster replied, β€œBe a gentleman and roll them back to her.


The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you’re not will lead to a sweet reward.


I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.


I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I’m dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.


Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.


What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!


What do Italian’s eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)


Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.


What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!


What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi


What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween!!


What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
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Dad Jokes I Tell My Kids

I have a 6 year-old and a 8 year-old.

Whenever my kids ask me, "Dad, can I ask you a question?" I reply, "You just did." And then smile.

Also, whenever my kids say, "Dad, guess what?" I comeback with something completely ludicrous, "Uh, you just saw an polka-dotted elephant in the kitchen and he stole your lunch?"

They do not find it humorous at all. But, I crack myself up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/papabois
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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