A man was admitted to hospital today with 10 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum.

Doctors have described his condition as stable.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RodimusMajor84
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
A man was hospitalised with 6 plastic horses up his arse

The doctor said his condition was stable

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/renegaderis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't Plastic Man lead an orchestra?

Because he's a poor conductor

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsxenix
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a psychiatrist clinic wearing nothing but a plastic wrap skirt...

Doctor says: " I can clearly see you're nuts."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joe2u2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the man who had experimental plastic dentures fitted see the world differently?

Because he had new Perspex teeth!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/El_Moochio
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2017
🚨︎ report
A man was rushed to the emergency room after several small plastic model horses were inserted in his rectum.

The doctors are now reporting his condition as "stable".

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gurana
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2018
🚨︎ report
A man was admitted to the ER with 6 plastic horses in his rectum

The doctor told his worried family "he's doing fine and he's in stable condition"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hercules300AAC
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Who do you call a man with plastic bags in his pockets?

Russel

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gotu_Jayle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2017
🚨︎ report
A man holding several miniature pigs walks into a bar.

"Hey, barkeep!" he says, struggling to keep control of his quarry. "Any room for me and my friends?"

The bartender smiles and sets down some plastic cups. The man plops his friends inside, but the cups are too small.

"Um...barkeep?" the man says, pulling them out again. The bartender reaches for some larger mugs, but as he places them next to the cups, it becomes obvious that even these will be too small for the pigs.

Seeing the man struggle to continue holding them, the bartender runs to the kitchen for help.

A cook emerges, holding several large measuring cups. "Sorry, I just used these to make a batch of cheese dip, but they're all yours!"

The man carefully plops each pig into its respective gooey yellow cup.

Arms exhausted, breathing heavily, he drops into a stool at the end of the bar, between his tiny friends and a beautiful girl.

He glances her way, gasping coyly. "Hey...I'm...Tom."

She smiles, having watched the whole ordeal. "Hi Tom, I'm Liz. And if you don't mind me asking..." she laughs, looking over his shoulder, "what was that all about?"

He glances back at the bar. "Yeah...sorry," he pants. "I wanted...to impress you, but...it turned out to be...a pretty cheesy...pig-cup line."

πŸ‘︎ 247
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I just wanted to leave a few dad jokes if that's okay with all dads in this subreddit....

1.bI refused to believe my dad was fired as a road worker for theft

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

  1. Yesterday, I was fired from a keyboard factory

Apparently, I wasn't putting enough shifts.

  1. My friends bet me $50 that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti

You should've seen the look on their face when I drove pasta.

  1. The price of a slice of an apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in Bahamas

These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

  1. "Welcome to the Plastic Surgery Addicts group", a man said.

"Btw I have to say I'm very disappointed to see only a few new faces this week."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a pet store...

And asks the proprietor if she could recommend a bird cage. The shopkeeper replies that she has both plastic and metal varieties.

β€œWell what kind of metal is used in the metal one?” he asks?

β€œI’m not sure. Aluminum, I think,” she responds.

β€œDo you happen to know if it contains any nickel?”

β€œNo, I don’t believe it does,” she answers, looking puzzled.

β€œAh,” says the man. β€œSo what you’re saying is that it’s a nickel-less cage.”

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/darth-noxious
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Horse Puns

Funniest horse puns and jokes

A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: β€œHey, we’ve got a whisky named after you.” The horse replies: β€œWhat, George?”


A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. β€œEvenin’” says the barman, β€œwhy the long face?”


A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: β€œWait you can’t come in here without a tie.”The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: β€œThis alright?” The barman says: β€œHmm, ok… but don’t be starting anything.”


A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: β€œI shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got?” β€œWhy, what have you got?” β€œAbout Β£2 and a carrot.”


Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours


A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. β€œWill I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks The vet replies: β€œOf course you will, and you’ll probably win!”


Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!


A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.

β€œI’m sorry, sir,” says the barman. β€œWe don’t serve spirits..


A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. β€œExcuse me, good sir,” the horse says, β€œare you hiring?” The manager looks the horse up and down and says, β€œSorry, pal. Why don’t you try the circus?” The horse nickers. β€œWhy would the circus need a bartender?”


Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.


What did the horse say when it fell? β€œI’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”


Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.


A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? The horse’s name was Friday.


Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!


What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!


What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?


What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bo

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
🚨︎ report
My boss made a good dad joke today...

So there I was working on a small project; I make signs and was working on something for a local election candidate. The client wanted small plastic fans with a pic of her on sticks for her upcoming rally. 300 of them. Our plotter wasn't able to trace them out so I'm hand cutting 300 plastic pieces. My boss walks in, and I say "Man this is gonna take all day." and he replies "Well, looks like you got your work cut out for you today." And walks off.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jin_Gitaxias
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2016
🚨︎ report
He has a bag full of dad jokes

I work at a local grocery store that still offers paper or plastic. This older man walks up so I ask him "Would you like paper or plastic?" Without missing a beat he looks at me and says "Oh it doesn't matter. I'm biSACKsual." Personally, I loved it. But he received the appropriate number of groans from my coworkers.

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
🚨︎ report
The misses is on a fast track to dad jokes...

My fiancee knocked on to the floor at a friends house, a single slice cake we had got from Smith's; comes packaged in a small, square plastic container, and was still in the container when it hit the carpet. I still proceeded to give her a hard time saying she did it on purpose, etc. As she reached over to pick it up she accidentally dipped her shirt on to the top of a caramel covered brownie she was eating. She sat back up and noticed the caramel circle covering the nipple of her shirt, and without second thought cries, "Aww man, caramel's a bitch."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsonlythreeyears
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2015
🚨︎ report
This one really had me laughing!

So I'm a cashier and I've heard nearly every tired joke that customers say to get a laugh out of me. To be honest, they usually only get a pity chuckle and a half-hearted smile. But this guy... he was one Funny Old Dude

This guy and his wife walk up to my register to check out. They look like they could be older than my grandparents. Him, his wife and I were just make cordial small talk, when my coworker who was a bagger today walks up.

>>Bagger: "Would you like paper or plastic today, sir?"

>>FunnyOldDude: "What was that, son?"

>>B: "Paper or plastic today?"

>>FOD: "What ever you want, man. I'm bi-sack-ual."

I busted out laughing. I never expected to hear that! And definitely not from this old white guy!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hi_im_x
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2014
🚨︎ report
A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his butt.

The doctors described his condition as stable.

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealWingnut
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses inside him

The doctor described his condition as stable!

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rickmartingt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A man was admitted to the hospital with 8 plastic horses in his stomach.

His condition is stable now.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
🚨︎ report
A man was admitted to the hospital because he swallowed 8 plastic horses...

His condition is now stable

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostfromTexas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What did one man say to another man who is wearing plastic wrap?

Sir, I can clearly see you’re nuts

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pizzamonster482
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
🚨︎ report
A man was hospitalised with 6 plastic horses up his arse...

The doctors described his condition as "stable"...

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMonument
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2013
🚨︎ report
A man goes to the hospital with 6 plastic horses up his butt...

The doctors described him as stable.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trenton00
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.