Pj Puns

She responded: ”I no chiwwy, I Madison.”

I almost died choking on pancake. I don’t think I’ve fully recovered.

Is she a moist Owlette?

She would turn into a moist Owlette.

Dad: How'd you sleep??

Everyone: Good, and you?

Dad: I slept with my eyes closed.

Dad: http://imgur.com/M3jPjIA

Me: I've really got to stop confusing lord the rings and star wars with each other

Mrs pj-mcshane : how can you confuse the two?!

Me: I don't know. Its just a force of hobbit

Mom : Go put his pj's on! Dad : They don't fit me! Mom : facepalm Me: Those are mine!

Dad: "Last night I had a dream I ate a 5 pound marshmallow!"

Everybody: "Oh yeahh?"

Dad: "Yeah and when I woke up, my pillow was gone!"

Dad: http://imgur.com/M3jPjIA

I dad joked my wife last night with the help of our 3mo old daughter.

It was time for Marlene (my 3mo old daughter) to get in to her PJs and get ready for bed. I scooped her up and flew her through the air (making rocket noises of course) and headed upstairs to change her diaper and get her in to her PJs. As I was flying her away from my wife. I said in my "Marlene Voice" (which actually sounds like Cartman),

>"Maam... When I come back, I'm going to be a changed woman!"

So I went and changed her diaper and got her in to her PJs which is a royal purple footed PJ outfit, and flew her back downstairs. When I got back downstairs I said, again in my Marlene voice,

>"Maam! I'm a changed woman! Changed in to a grape! Just don't make me angry!"

And my wife asked, >"Why shouldn't I make you angry?"

To which I replied as Marlene, >"Because then you will have to face my wrath!"

we ordered PJ's and I got a small no cheese peperoni and green pepper... so my son brings it back to me:

I, "That feels a lot like pizza."

Son, "No shit."

I, "Yeah, I didn't order any shit - so that's good."

Son, <plinko eyeball noise>

While driving with my Mom and brother we passed several sets of power lines crossing over a river, many of which had marker balls on them. My mom asked why some of the lines didn't have balls, I told her it was because those were girl power lines.

A moist owlette.