What does a physicist's dog say?
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︎ Feb 14 2021
What is a physicists favorite saying?
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︎ Jan 18 2021
A play by Shaquille OβNeal helped physicists discover a new phenomenon
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︎ Jan 29 2021
What do Quantum physicists do for a living?
Work on little things, here and there.
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︎ Oct 16 2020
Where did they send the physicist who was convicted of terrorism?
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︎ Nov 29 2020
A physicist sees a guy standing on the edge of a rooftop
He immediately shouts: Don't do it! You have so much potential!
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︎ Sep 18 2020
True story: My girlfriend just asked me if I knew any good jokes about physicists (my profession). I said yes, but they were all about physicists' dating lives.
So they're pretty much all one-liners.
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︎ Nov 20 2020
A physicist sees a man about to jump off of the Empire State Building...
He yells,β Donβt do it, you have too much potentialβ
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︎ Jun 15 2020
How did Pakistan's Nobel Laureate physicist Abdus Salam respond to greetings?
Yes, that's me. Is that it?
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︎ Apr 22 2020
Why are physicists so serious all the time?
They understand the gravity of the situation.
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︎ Feb 18 2020
What do you call the child of 2 physicists?
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︎ Feb 28 2020
What does a quantum physicist call a bisexual person?
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︎ Apr 26 2020
Physicist: how to imagine 10-dimensional spacetime?
Mathematician: imagine n-dimensional spacetime first and then let n=10.
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︎ Mar 06 2020
My physicist girlfriend told me that she loves me to the moon and back.
Iβm worried she means displacement, not distance.
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︎ Jun 02 2019
What did the physicist give his wife for their anniversary?
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︎ Jun 27 2019
What is the first name of italian physicist Volta?
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︎ Oct 08 2019
I'm looking for some female physicists to start a band
It's gonna be called The Space Girls
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︎ Oct 08 2019
Why did the physicist name his dog nature?
Because nature abhors a vacuum
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︎ Jun 28 2019
Do you ever just flux on physicists?
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︎ Jun 11 2019
Which is the favourite animal of a physicist that likes dinosaurs?
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︎ Jul 25 2019
What does a physicist say as he drives around a fast corner
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︎ Jul 01 2019
Why didn't the Jewish physicist know how often Christmas is celebrated?
Because if you don't observe something, you can't be sure of its frequency.
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︎ Jan 12 2019
Physicists never get too close to skeletons.
They prefer their spooky action to be at a distance.
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︎ Nov 10 2018
What is a physicists favorite food?
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︎ Jan 16 2019
A physicist, a statistician, and a mathematician go deer hunting together.
They see a deer, so the physicist takes a shot and misses 3 feet to the left. The mathematician takes a shot and misses 3 feet to the right. The statistician puts his gun down, and yells βgood job guys! We hit!β.
(Technically a joke from my professor, but it felt very fitting here).
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︎ Nov 11 2018
Why do physicists prefer German bars?
...because they love ein stein.
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︎ Nov 18 2018
A Physicist and a Biologist had a relationship....
But there was no Chemistry
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︎ Feb 02 2018
Why was the particle physicist still hungry after the Italian full-course meal?
Instead of antipasto, they served antipasta.
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︎ Jan 03 2018
What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?
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︎ Feb 11 2013
Did you hear about the physicist who ran the 100 meters wearing only suspenders?
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︎ Oct 21 2017
What sound did the physicist make when he fell down?
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︎ Dec 06 2017
Wish these physicists would stop ducking around
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︎ Mar 06 2014
Why did the physicist have to go to drug rehab?
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︎ Jan 24 2017
Is there a really famous Celtic optical physicist...
...who credits his success to the luck of the iris?
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︎ Oct 14 2015
Why couldn't the lab assistant understand the wet nuclear physicist?
Because he was soakin' fusing.
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︎ Sep 10 2015
I cannot wait for the next Quantum Physicist triathlon...
I'm going to stand beside the bikes and yell out their speeds. They'll get so lost they'll end back at the starting line.
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︎ Sep 11 2013
Physicist
A physicist sees a man about to jump off a building. He says, "Stop, you have so much potential!"
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︎ Apr 27 2020
A physicist see a man about to jump from a ledge. He yells.
"Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
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︎ May 14 2019
A physicist sees a yound men who wants to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells: βDon't jump! You have so much potential!β
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︎ Oct 30 2019
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State building.
"Don't do it!!" he yelled. "You have so much potential!"
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︎ Dec 02 2017
My physicist wife keeps telling me that she loves me to the moon and back.
Iβm not sure whether she means distance, or displacement.
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︎ Jun 24 2018
My physicist wife keeps telling me she loves me to the moon and back.
I wonder whether she means distance or displacement.
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︎ May 27 2018
Why did the physicist broke up with biologist?
There was no Chemistry between them.
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︎ Jun 05 2018
a physicist and a biologist had a relationship
but there was no chemistry
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︎ May 28 2018
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