What does a physicist's dog say?

Quark, quark!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pthelynese
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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What is a physicists favorite saying?

As a matter of fact!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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A play by Shaquille O’Neal helped physicists discover a new phenomenon

They called it Shaqwave.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Real_Tohsaka
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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What do Quantum physicists do for a living?

Work on little things, here and there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Where did they send the physicist who was convicted of terrorism?

Quantumamo Bay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keel_zuckerberg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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A physicist sees a guy standing on the edge of a rooftop

He immediately shouts: Don't do it! You have so much potential!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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True story: My girlfriend just asked me if I knew any good jokes about physicists (my profession). I said yes, but they were all about physicists' dating lives.

So they're pretty much all one-liners.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HunterSwan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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A physicist sees a man about to jump off of the Empire State Building...

He yells,” Don’t do it, you have too much potential”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MCVeteran69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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How did Pakistan's Nobel Laureate physicist Abdus Salam respond to greetings?

Yes, that's me. Is that it?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madjholu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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Why are physicists so serious all the time?

They understand the gravity of the situation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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What do you call the child of 2 physicists?

The aftermath.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TestSubject_02
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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What does a quantum physicist call a bisexual person?

SchrΓΆdingay.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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Physicist: how to imagine 10-dimensional spacetime?

Mathematician: imagine n-dimensional spacetime first and then let n=10.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ejijojo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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My physicist girlfriend told me that she loves me to the moon and back.

I’m worried she means displacement, not distance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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What did the physicist give his wife for their anniversary?

Joule-ery

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2ssenmodnar4
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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What is the first name of italian physicist Volta?

Johntra

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dylandog76
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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I'm looking for some female physicists to start a band

It's gonna be called The Space Girls

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HashManIndie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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Why did the physicist name his dog nature?

Because nature abhors a vacuum

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masonwyattk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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Do you ever just flux on physicists?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DogAteMyNandos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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Which is the favourite animal of a physicist that likes dinosaurs?

Velocity-raptor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYOOK1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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What does a physicist say as he drives around a fast corner

Awww G s

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anime_sao_lmao
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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Why didn't the Jewish physicist know how often Christmas is celebrated?

Because if you don't observe something, you can't be sure of its frequency.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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Physicists never get too close to skeletons.

They prefer their spooky action to be at a distance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IncompotentCyborg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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What is a physicists favorite food?

Fission chips

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unclerudy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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A physicist, a statistician, and a mathematician go deer hunting together.

They see a deer, so the physicist takes a shot and misses 3 feet to the left. The mathematician takes a shot and misses 3 feet to the right. The statistician puts his gun down, and yells β€œgood job guys! We hit!”. (Technically a joke from my professor, but it felt very fitting here).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WavvesDude
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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Why do physicists prefer German bars?

...because they love ein stein.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stage_directions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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A Physicist and a Biologist had a relationship....

But there was no Chemistry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rouchi_43de
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2018
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Why was the particle physicist still hungry after the Italian full-course meal?

Instead of antipasto, they served antipasta.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
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What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?

Fission Chips

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Intelligenttrees
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2013
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Did you hear about the physicist who ran the 100 meters wearing only suspenders?

He won the Nobelt Prize.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/X_Irradiance
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2017
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What sound did the physicist make when he fell down?

Planck!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/datcountryUlm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
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Wish these physicists would stop ducking around
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blacky_1207
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2014
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Why did the physicist have to go to drug rehab?

He was addicted to math.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhriXion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2017
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Is there a really famous Celtic optical physicist...

...who credits his success to the luck of the iris?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CronoZero15
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2015
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Why couldn't the lab assistant understand the wet nuclear physicist?

Because he was soakin' fusing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomatillojoe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2015
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I cannot wait for the next Quantum Physicist triathlon...

I'm going to stand beside the bikes and yell out their speeds. They'll get so lost they'll end back at the starting line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djnewton123
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2013
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Physicist

A physicist sees a man about to jump off a building. He says, "Stop, you have so much potential!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrewciferCDXX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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A physicist see a man about to jump from a ledge. He yells.

"Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hadeon_
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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A physicist sees a yound men who wants to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells: β€œDon't jump! You have so much potential!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunorVoHarden
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State building.

"Don't do it!!" he yelled. "You have so much potential!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/derawin08
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
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My physicist wife keeps telling me that she loves me to the moon and back.

I’m not sure whether she means distance, or displacement.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
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My physicist wife keeps telling me she loves me to the moon and back.

I wonder whether she means distance or displacement.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
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Why did the physicist broke up with biologist?

There was no Chemistry between them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swapnil86
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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a physicist and a biologist had a relationship

but there was no chemistry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rooster1237
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
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