What is a buffalo salesman's catch phrase?

"Would you like to bison"?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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I love the phrase "Bear with me."

It could mean "please be patient" or the "heist at the zoo" was successful.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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A man walks in to a bar with a piece of asphalt

The man says to the bartender β€œ1 for me, and 1 for the road”

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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My daughter (6) and I were watching a show where the phrase β€œgelatinous mass” came up..

..so I blurted out, β€œThat’s what jellyfish call church!” rimshot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buh-sploder
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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Did you hear about the guy who repeated the same phrase more times than anyone else ever has?

Sounded like a broken record.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. That's it.

The last straw.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iMakeCrap
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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My wife says I don’t understand prepositional phrases.

I told her to get under it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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A prepositional phrase

Walks into a bar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/furballiver
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Clearing a windscreen
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiestjE
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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Paranoia at the library
πŸ‘︎ 485
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toe-knail
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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*Whose/You're
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dickiedaydream
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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Everyone has heard the phrase "There's something afoot"...

But we are really in trouble when something is amile

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icecoldchris09
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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Every time I ask my son what a new phrase means, he tells me to google it.

Kids these days have a lot of slang for a killer clown movie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J3fbr0nd0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Campbell got a new catch phrase

β€œIt’s Souper!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Is my wife dissatisfied with my body?

A tiny part of me says yes.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lez566
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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What do you call a bear who's crouched over and grunting?

Pooh bear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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I hate it when uppercase & lowercase letters are mixed together in a phrase...

It's a WoRsT cAsE sCeNaRiO

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Philosopun

Descartes and Shakespeare were having a debate on how best to write. Descartes argued up and down that prose was the only way to really get your ideas across and that artistic license just muddied everything up. Shakespeare argued poetry and turns of phrase made the material more relatable and thus easier to get across. Descartes countered, "But how do you know what the best form is?" Shakespeare thought about it and replied, "I think, therefore iamb."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/corneashell
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
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I stopped using the phrase "in a nutshell"

I instead use "in a ball-sack"

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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What's another word for strange sounds?

Odd-io.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
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How does a military dad alert his son that a hot lady is nearby?

A-TEN-SON!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Packaging69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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What a wonderful phrase
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pj566
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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What’s the difference between suggestive phrases and stalking?

One is innuendo the other is inyourwindow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jcbrnld
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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I googled the phrase "missing medieval servant".

It came back with "page not found".

πŸ‘︎ 936
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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BBQ humour

If you have ever put together a new BBQ, you know how bad the instructions can be. Yesterday, my wife and I struggled through the horrible task. When we finally figured out the last complicated step, I exclaimed β€œYes! Now we’re cooking with gas.”
She actually smiled at that one, which is rare when I make Dad jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saskatoonbaldguy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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When arguments get silly
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xayoz306
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Shot on iPhone
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmanMegha2909
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Being cooped up in the house for so long has led me to attempt new hobbies. As an example, I'm currently studying how to adapt French phrases to describe the situation.

You could say it's my maison d'Γͺtre.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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My father had this incredible catch phrase that left me and my brothers speechless for hours every day

The phrase was: "good night"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lorettooooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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So proud of my 6 year old. While teaching her to hit a softball, I told her to β€œsquare up on the ball”

She replied β€œthe ball is round daddy” (with a straight face) So I tell her β€œno, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!”

She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says β€œI’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!” Then throws it right back at me.

Proud dad moment.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Itsjorgehernandez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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Not the best way to phrase it but ok
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hago4
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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Who was the ancient Roman ruler who always used the phrase β€œI can’t even”?

Emperor Constant Teen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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At the local donation center, only one guy donated anything, and it was a box of poop!

But hey, at least he gave a shit.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MitchOnTheMic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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If you could learn how to say one phrase in every language what would it be?

β€œI’m sorry, I didn’t vote for him”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the-linx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren’t very supportive. They kept telling him to β€œGet with the times...

New Roman.”

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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A friend of mine claimed that you can't make a suggestive phrase out of a martial art

I asked:

"Muay Thai prove you wrong?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JokerInATardis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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My partner makes me speak a certain phrase before I can look her in the eye.

She calls it her wife eye password.

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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My wife insists that I use the phrase β€œmake love” instead of the f-word.

I said, β€œWhat the make love are you talking about?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
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The phrase, size matters, is a phallacy.

Phallus=Penis

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/4zio
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
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My wife....

Wife: "I wish we had more spice in our lives."

Me: "I live pretty spicy."

Wife: confused face

Me: "I'm always jalapeΓ±o way."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chemist612
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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What is an ophthalmologistβ€˜s favorite phrase

>! Eye see the issue now !<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xsaber125
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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What is the spanish phrase for giving money to a homeless person?

Poor favor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueComms
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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A prepositional phrase

walks into a bar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/furballiver
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I googled the phrase β€œmissing medieval servant”.

It came back with β€œpage not found”.

πŸ‘︎ 317
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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