What is a buffalo salesman's catch phrase?
"Would you like to bison"?
I love the phrase "Bear with me."
It could mean "please be patient" or the "heist at the zoo" was successful.
What does it take to get PhDs in dadjokes?
A man walks in to a bar with a piece of asphalt
The man says to the bartender “1 for me, and 1 for the road”
My daughter (6) and I were watching a show where the phrase “gelatinous mass” came up..
..so I blurted out, “That’s what jellyfish call church!”
rimshot
Did you hear about the guy who repeated the same phrase more times than anyone else ever has?
Sounded like a broken record.
Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. That's it.
My wife says I don’t understand prepositional phrases.
I told her to get under it!
Everyone has heard the phrase "There's something afoot"...
But we are really in trouble when something is amile
Every time I ask my son what a new phrase means, he tells me to google it.
Kids these days have a lot of slang for a killer clown movie.
Campbell got a new catch phrase
I hate it when uppercase & lowercase letters are mixed together in a phrase...
It's a WoRsT cAsE sCeNaRiO
What do you call a bear who's crouched over and grunting?
I stopped using the phrase "in a nutshell"
I instead use "in a ball-sack"
Philosopun
Descartes and Shakespeare were having a debate on how best to write. Descartes argued up and down that prose was the only way to really get your ideas across and that artistic license just muddied everything up. Shakespeare argued poetry and turns of phrase made the material more relatable and thus easier to get across. Descartes countered, "But how do you know what the best form is?" Shakespeare thought about it and replied, "I think, therefore iamb."
What's another word for strange sounds?
How does a military dad alert his son that a hot lady is nearby?
What’s the difference between suggestive phrases and stalking?
One is innuendo the other is inyourwindow
I googled the phrase "missing medieval servant".
It came back with "page not found".
Is my wife dissatisfied with my body?
A tiny part of me says yes.
BBQ humour
If you have ever put together a new BBQ, you know how bad the instructions can be. Yesterday, my wife and I struggled through the horrible task. When we finally figured out the last complicated step, I exclaimed “Yes! Now we’re cooking with gas.”
She actually smiled at that one, which is rare when I make Dad jokes.
Being cooped up in the house for so long has led me to attempt new hobbies. As an example, I'm currently studying how to adapt French phrases to describe the situation.
You could say it's my maison d'être.
My father had this incredible catch phrase that left me and my brothers speechless for hours every day
The phrase was: "good night"
Where does the phrase “sleep like a baby” come from?
Because mine sure as hell isn’t...
Not the best way to phrase it but ok
So proud of my 6 year old. While teaching her to hit a softball, I told her to “square up on the ball”
She replied “the ball is round daddy” (with a straight face) So I tell her “no, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!”
She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says “I’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!” Then throws it right back at me.
Proud dad moment.
Who was the ancient Roman ruler who always used the phrase “I can’t even”?
At the local donation center, only one guy donated anything, and it was a box of poop!
But hey, at least he gave a shit.
If you could learn how to say one phrase in every language what would it be?
“I’m sorry, I didn’t vote for him”
My partner makes me speak a certain phrase before I can look her in the eye.
She calls it her wife eye password.
A friend of mine claimed that you can't make a suggestive phrase out of a martial art
I asked:
"Muay Thai prove you wrong?"
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren’t very supportive. They kept telling him to “Get with the times...
If Pablo Escobar was a super hero, what would his catch phrase be?
With great powder comes great responsibility.
My wife insists that I use the phrase “make love” instead of the f-word.
I said, “What the make love are you talking about?”
The phrase, size matters, is a phallacy.
My wife....
Wife: "I wish we had more spice in our lives."
Me: "I live pretty spicy."
Wife: confused face
Me: "I'm always jalapeño way."
What is an ophthalmologist‘s favorite phrase
>! Eye see the issue now !<
I googled the phrase “missing medieval servant”.
It came back with “page not found”.
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