I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus.
Thats how i lost my job as a bus driver
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
They won the Nobel prize.
How does a non binary person kill someone?
What do you call a person with epilepsy laying on a bed of lettuce?
I say ‘Mucho’ to every Spanish person I meet...
Apparently it means a lot to them.
A person with no head or neck...
I once fucked a person...
Why’s it so hard to understand a person that’s jobless
Because they make no cents
I've just won an award for being the most secretive person of the year.
I can't tell you how proud that makes me.
You see a boat filled with people, but when you look closer you don't find a single person in it. Why?
Because everyone is married.
What do you call a popular person who gets sick?
To the person who stole my antidepressants...
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person
I always thought he was only a theoretical physicist...
Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.
There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
I’ve just been voted the most secretive person in the whole world
I can’t tell you how much this means to me
I’ve never been a watch person
But now I’ve got the time to be
What do you call it when a random person farts on a bunch of strangers?
I'm not a competitive person
And I'll be the first to admit it
What do you call a pregnant person in a suit of armour?
My wife laughed, "The lottery is a tax on fools who can't do math!" I shrugged and said, "You never know! Anybody can win the lottery." Folding her arms, she asked, "Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?" I shot back, "Yes!! 100%!!"
Why did the person with muscle pain put their doctor through a Soda Stream?
Because they needed to see a fizzier therapist.
First time I met a blind person
What did the scale say to the person?
Sent a letter addressed to “The Smartest Person in the World”
I couldn’t believe it when I found it in my mail box with the words “Return to Sender” stamped on it! It was me all along!
A person who likes to repost jokes on Reddit had a child who also reposted jokes on Reddit.
If a person doesn’t have to go to prison but has to see an officer every two weeks...
Do they have a probationship?
My wife told me I’ve grown as a person
Her actual word were “you’ve gotten fat”, but I know what she meant.
The only person who understands me has to be
What type of person doesn't like pizza?
Why should a poor person never become a comedian?
Because their jokes don’t make any cents
Who is the coolest person at the hospital
How does a Jewish person make tea?
What toy can a blind person never play with at the park?
What do you call a group of deaf people?
I don't know. But it is definitely not herd.
What award should the person get who invented knock knock jokes?
If I made a bot that spams every person who claims to be a member of the Pun Police with puns...
it would be a fully automatic machine pun.
I can prove that a person is the opposite of a box
If you are paid to drive a person in your car, you're in the livery business.
If you are paid to drive a box in your car, you're in the delivery business.
Q.E.D.
What do you call a stupid person who can’t understand punchlines?
Once a coin saved a person's life, the coin was in his shirt pocket, the coin deflected the bullet shot at him
The coin was truly his life savings
A chemist froze himself to -273.15°C and everyone called him crazy but personally,
I hate it when I see an old person...
....and realise we went to school together.
How does a non-binary person kill someone?
I just learned Albert Einstein was a real person.
All this time i thought he was a theoretical physicist.
Today I learned that Albert Einstein was a real person
I had always thought he was only a theoretical physicist
Today I learned that Albert Einstein was a real person.
I always thought he was a theoretical physicist.
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person
I thought he was a theoretical physicist.
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