I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus.
Thats how i lost my job as a bus driver
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Apr 05 2021
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
They won the Nobel prize.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Apr 10 2021
How does a non binary person kill someone?
π︎ 316
π
︎ Apr 16 2021
What do you call a person with epilepsy laying on a bed of lettuce?
π︎ 223
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
I say βMuchoβ to every Spanish person I meet...
Apparently it means a lot to them.
π︎ 91
π
︎ Apr 18 2021
π︎ 17
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︎ Apr 16 2021
I once fucked a person...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 24 2021
I've just won an award for being the most secretive person of the year.
I can't tell you how proud that makes me.
π︎ 53
π
︎ Apr 06 2021
You see a boat filled with people, but when you look closer you don't find a single person in it. Why?
Because everyone is married.
π︎ 96
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
What do you call a popular person who gets sick?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 22 2021
To the person who stole my antidepressants...
π︎ 130
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person
I always thought he was only a theoretical physicist...
π︎ 154
π
︎ Mar 13 2021
Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.
There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
π︎ 22k
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
Iβve just been voted the most secretive person in the whole world
I canβt tell you how much this means to me
π︎ 130
π
︎ Mar 06 2021
Iβve never been a watch person
But now Iβve got the time to be
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 04 2021
What do you call it when a random person farts on a bunch of strangers?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 23 2021
Took me a while
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Apr 04 2021
I'm not a competitive person
And I'll be the first to admit it
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
What do you call a pregnant person in a suit of armour?
π︎ 165
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
Why did the person with muscle pain put their doctor through a Soda Stream?
Because they needed to see a fizzier therapist.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
My wife laughed, "The lottery is a tax on fools who can't do math!" I shrugged and said, "You never know! Anybody can win the lottery." Folding her arms, she asked, "Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?" I shot back, "Yes!! 100%!!"
π︎ 12
π
︎ Apr 01 2021
First time I met a blind person
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 13 2021
What did the scale say to the person?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Mar 20 2021
Sent a letter addressed to βThe Smartest Person in the Worldβ
I couldnβt believe it when I found it in my mail box with the words βReturn to Senderβ stamped on it! It was me all along!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 18 2021
A person who likes to repost jokes on Reddit had a child who also reposted jokes on Reddit.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 07 2021
If a person doesnβt have to go to prison but has to see an officer every two weeks...
Do they have a probationship?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 26 2021
My wife told me Iβve grown as a person
Her actual word were βyouβve gotten fatβ, but I know what she meant.
π︎ 997
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
The only person who understands me has to be
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 22 2021
What type of person doesn't like pizza?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
Why should a poor person never become a comedian?
Because their jokes donβt make any cents
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 12 2021
Who is the coolest person at the hospital
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 03 2021
How does a Jewish person make tea?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Apr 04 2021
What toy can a blind person never play with at the park?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
What do you call a group of deaf people?
I don't know. But it is definitely not herd.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
Not a single person.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
What do you call a stupid person who canβt understand punchlines?
&~β¬βeofijΒ£>~>Β£β¬Β£
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
If I made a bot that spams every person who claims to be a member of the Pun Police with puns...
it would be a fully automatic machine pun.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 12 2021
I can prove that a person is the opposite of a box
If you are paid to drive a person in your car, you're in the livery business.
If you are paid to drive a box in your car, you're in the delivery business.
Q.E.D.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
What award should the person get who invented knock knock jokes?
π︎ 379
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
Once a coin saved a person's life, the coin was in his shirt pocket, the coin deflected the bullet shot at him
The coin was truly his life savings
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
A chemist froze himself to -273.15Β°C and everyone called him crazy but personally,
π︎ 19k
π
︎ Sep 11 2020
I hate it when I see an old person...
....and realise we went to school together.
π︎ 46
π
︎ Mar 10 2021
I got my own personal concierge today
It opened a lot of doors for me
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 03 2021
How does a non-binary person kill someone?
π︎ 204
π
︎ Mar 22 2021
I just learned Albert Einstein was a real person.
All this time i thought he was a theoretical physicist.
π︎ 138
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
Today I learned that Albert Einstein was a real person
I had always thought he was only a theoretical physicist
π︎ 49
π
︎ Mar 11 2021
Today I learned that Albert Einstein was a real person.
I always thought he was a theoretical physicist.
π︎ 49
π
︎ Mar 01 2021
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person
I thought he was a theoretical physicist.
π︎ 99
π
︎ Feb 22 2021
I just found out that Einstein was a real person...
I always thought he was a theoretical physicist.
π︎ 58
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
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