It was the pizza de resistance.
...they became quite skilled at making daddy's into mummy's.
I boil the hell out of it.
But the results have yet to be seen.
It's very hard to Finnish
Mom: “Matthew! Can you grab the screws please?”
Me: “Oh screw this.”
Mom: “Can you grab some nails?”
Me: “Yup.” Sees the curtains up “Oh wow you’re really nailing it.”
Mom: “The drills on the counter. Would you mind...”
Me: “Don’t worry. I know the drill by now.”
He told us his little son (1 year old) had a great big poo in his toybox and there's shit all over the abacus.
"Bet you didn't count on that!" said I, proudly!
So there were 6 of us...
With freezing rain pouring down on us at the end of a long work day, and in the middle of a daunting task- pulling underground cables, linking four transformers together (a task where something goes wrong about 50% of the time)
There is a jet line (pulling line) attached to the head of the cable being ran, and as we are nearing completion I hear my foreman (standing at the endpoint) yell "THE JET LINE IS FRAYING!!!".
Without pause I scream back "I was a FRAYED this would happen!"
The tension on the line ceases, and I look around and see 5 blank expressions just staring back at me.
Best day of my comedic life
That was the punchline.
I use the date of birth of a person I know. For example from Margarete von Henneberg. Nobody knows her. So how should someone get my password 1234?
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
He said it looked like it had never been used!
(True story, that. Meaning that he said it. I'm guessing it's something he enjoys saying to people who he doesn't have to give bad or concerning news to.)
it's unbrielievably cheesy
My secretary looked extra beautiful in that light and atmosphere!
239.
Because one more would be too farty.
I personally think it's DD/MM/YY. The rest are a bit confusing.
They have to fit the Bill.
They most certainly have floss.
because the fist impression is everything.
MM/DD/YYYY. I find other formats confusing.
They were all ear-regular.
Use a lighter
it's a naan stick pan
But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
I honestly can’t remember a single time I’ve ever forgotten anything.
I won't be able to live with myself.
It seems pointless to me
Because they can C++
But my crush is perfect. So my crush is Nobody. Nobody loves me. My crush loves me!
but he's still making fun of me
Why did the coffee file a police report
It got mugged
... it’s impeckable!
It makes people uncomfortable when they see you mask debating in public.
Oreggaeno
