Two parrots are sitting on a perch

One turns to the other and says "Do you smell fish?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Two birds sat on a perch...

The first bird said to the second bird "Do you smell fish?"

Edit: oh wow, platinum! TYVM!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiranamisu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Two parrots sitting on a perch

One says to the other: β€œdo you smell something fishy?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rf152
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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If you're having trouble connecting your bluetooth device, just dress in green, sit on a perch and repeat everything that tech support tells you.

It's the only way to parrot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and asks, "do you smell fish?

"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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Two parrots sat on a perch.

One says to the other "Do you smell fish?"

Credit to my partner who's dad used this as his go to joke in her youth

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkbow85
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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Two birds are sitting on a perch

One says β€œDo you smell fish?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tobias_drundridge
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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Two birds are sitting on a perch...

One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anaxtogrind
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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2 parrots sitting on a perch, one said to the other ...

Can you smell fish?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/who_movedmycheese
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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What do you call a man with a seagull perched on his head?

Cliff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShowerSuspicious
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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What’s a pigeons favorite fish?

Perch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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What do you call someone who hates perches?

A bassist

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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What do you call a toilet perched on top of an active volcano?

The lavatory

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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The pet bird gets so happy when he perches atop our wall clock.

He's completely over the noon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moses_The_Wise
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2017
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The Cat is Innocent!

I got very annoyed when I found one of our cats, Steve, perched on a manyberry berry pie I had just baked. I was ready to yell at him when my son - 12 at the time - exclaimed "Stop Mom! Don't yell... he's just an innocent Pie Stander!"

Steve was not yelled at.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpasticArdvaark
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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My son just caught his first fish and sat on the wall all day admiring it!

It was a perch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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Rest In Peace Steven hawking
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πŸ‘€︎ u/warturtle27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
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Free Legless Bird

No perches necessary

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterbill
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Daddiest of dad jokes

Two parrots land on a perch,

One of the birds says to the other, "Wow does it smell like fish here"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mangosweetcheeks
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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Court Chester: Cell of the Century

Chester, the defendant, stood in front of the judge's imposing bench, waiting patiently for the reason why he was there. To further muddle the moment, he stared at items unfamiliar to him, at least in that context.

Perched on and near His Honor's desk were the following: A DuraLast Ultra in one car with a long, black cord stretching to another car, several alkaline D cells plugged into a black box, and lastly, a cell phone with its cord sticking into the wall.

Finally removing Chester's questioned look was his attorney leaning into his ear to whisper, "It's official, now: You're facing battery charges."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bradstros
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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My local pet store had a bird contest....

No perches necessary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2017
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Vultures

I work at a zoo on weekends. We were feeding the King Vultures their meat diets today.

The female almost always gets her meat stolen by the male, so we have to keep the male away while she eats the meat off the exhibit floor.

The other keeper wondered aloud why the male would want her food when he has the same thing waiting on his perch. I said "He must prefer ground beef."

Thank you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rasalom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2015
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Haven't seen my dad since Christmas

And today he texts me out of the blue, "Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One parrot turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?""

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DigDugLow
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2014
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I had a strawberry plant..

So when I was about 7 years old I had a strawberry plant, spring and summer passed and there were no strawberries on it. My Dad came home from food shopping one day and told me to check my plant, so I did and there were these amazing strawberries just perched on top of the plant. I grabbed them and ran in to my Dad(ecstatic that I had grown fruit!) and he was sat there laughing eating a strawberry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lifeinthebalance
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2013
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Got on on the wife this morning doing yard work

Was trimming a palm tree this morning and a piece came flying down at my wife and she said did you see how close that got to me, I turned at her from my perched position on the ladder with a huge smile and replied 'oh I saw' as I brandished my rusty saw, quite proudly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theedeacon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2014
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Honestly a Great-Grandfather-in-law joke, but I enjoyed it.

There was this convenience store and the owner had a parrot perched next to the register. The parrot would talk to customers as they walked by and one day a man was walking by and the parrot said "You're the ugliest man I ever saw.". Taken aback, the man said "What did you say?" and the parrot said "You're the ugliest man I ever saw."

The man was outraged. He talked to the owner and said "Do you know what your bird just said to me?"

"No." said the owner.

"He said I was the ugliest man he ever saw."

"I'll give him a talking to." said the owner. "You come back tomorrow and see if things aren't a bit different."

That night the owner takes the parrot and slaps him around some, and tells him not to insult the customers ever again.

So the next day rolls around and the man stops by the store. He walks up to the register and says to the bird "What do you think you're lookin' at?"

The bird says, "You know."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCelsius
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2015
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Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and asks, "do you smell fish?

"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and asks, "do you smell fish?

"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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Two parrots on a perch

One says to the other: Can you smell fish?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DivinePrinterGod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
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Two parrots sitting on a perch.

One says to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elokwins
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Two parrots...

...on a perch. One says to the other: Can you smell fish?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DivinePrinterGod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2016
🚨︎ report

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