Request: Penguin puns
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cxaro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2013
🚨︎ report
Cake day original joke! Why don’t penguins like eating clown fish?

Because they taste funny!

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin make his house?

Igloos it.

(He glues it)

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porkchopz-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together!!

I may be a little drunk but this is my favourite joke ever and I feel it belongs here because I’ve not seen it here yet!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KaylsTheOptimist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What is more funny than a penguin sliding down a hill?

The penguin who pushed him!

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
The Gentoo penguin can swim up to 22mph

If you think that's impressive you should see the Gen 3

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jaydezi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
How did the polar bear catch a penguin?

Because it was bipolar...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/twozon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Dark jokes my 10 year old hit me with part 2: penguins are alot like kids

Both can fly if you throw them hard enough

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerJoe85
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a white penguin and a black penguin?

A white penguin is coming towards you, while a black penguin is walking away from you.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call 50 penguins in the Arctic?

Lost.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't penguins fly?

They're too short to be pilots.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YDAQ
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
PENguin
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tragicsnow11740
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
When I become a lawyer, I want to defend a penguin....

Just so I can say, "Your honour!! My client clearly isn't a flight risk."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A bloke runs in to a bar and says. Quick how tall are penguins? The barman says about three feet. The man groans and says :--

I have just run over a NUN

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Poor penguins...
πŸ‘︎ 105
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/b33pb00p3r
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the penguin popular

Cuz was an ice guy

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Do Penguins Have Knees?

Or just Bee's Knees suits?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stupidmentat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the children of the first penguins?

Gentwo penguins

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are fat penguins so popular at parties?

They know how to break the ice

πŸ‘︎ 390
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PygmeePony
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A penguin walks in to a pub and said have you seen my brother?

The barman said, what does he look like?

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the penguin waiter says?

Waddle'll it be?

πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the penguin's bail reduced?

He's not a flight risk.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the penguin that couldn't order a beer sampler?

He was a flightless bird.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/badasscdub
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the penguin late to his own wedding?

He had cold feet.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do the penguins get for their lunch at the zoo?

Half an hour, same as the zebras.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dulfuckyourself
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica? Wonder no more !

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualisticbird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow." "Freeze a jolly good fellow."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Heard of the extinct species that used to cohabit with penguins?

They were called pencilguins but were tragically erased.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lela_chan
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the penguins favourite aunt?

Aunt Arctica

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call 100 penguins in Trafalgar Square?

Lost, they’re lost.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CallMeMrWhite
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I just finished writing a book on penguins

Now that I think about it, it would’ve been easier if I just wrote in on paper

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/L3broncos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A Penguin sent his car off to the mechanic before going to the ice cream shop...

He ordered vanilla ice cream and gobbles it down before going back to the mechanic.

Mechanic: It looks like you blew a seal.

Penguin: Ah no that’s just ice cream.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JalepenoPeppers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
This is why they I deleted Club penguin.....
πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Siges
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
So a penguin, a priest and a giraffe walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says:

What is this, some sort of a joke?

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Just happened in Colorado Avalanche vs Pittsburgh Penguins

Announcer 1: did that puck just hit a penguin on the bench?

Announcer 2: no... I think it hit a player.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TuskenRaiders
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Neutraliscool
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
"How does a penguin build its house?"

"Igloos it together."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PersonWalker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin make its house?

Igloos it together

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Penis_popper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Papa-Slick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.!!!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eyeut
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin builds its house?

Igloos it together!

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amar610
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build their house?

Igloos it together

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EpaicSpace7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I wrote a book on penguins.

In retrospect, I realize that paper would have been easier..

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sinki7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build it's house

Igloos it together

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eisenhower_is_dad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.