Peddling Puns

He really made a meth of himself

He does it to this day and laughs every time, my sister and mother have chosen to start ignoring that type of behavior which makes it funnier to me

“That’s the last thing I need!”

(Showing me the paper today):

Did you hear about the mobsters arrested for peddling Viagra and Cialis?

It sounds like they were hardened criminals.

He was peddling drugs.

He was peddling his ass all over town.

Then he peddles them around the neighborhood.

An old beekeeper had been raising bees for years. He'd had many bees he gave names to, like Buzz or Stripe or Sting. He got a kick out of naming them and he would spend hours with them crawling on his hands, looking at them, holding them gently and humming little songs.

One year, the hive had a new queen, and she was the most magnificent thing he'd ever seen. He usually gave them clever names like Honey, but this one was just too gorgeous for that. He named her Beauty, and he would hum to her everyday as the sun went down.

One day, during a particularly beautiful sunset, the old man was watching his queen as she peddled around in the palm of his hand, singing to her gently, when a gust of wind suddenly blew some debris toward his face. Without thinking, he reacted, moving his hands fast toward his face, and smashed the queen right into his own eye. And so I guess what they say is true, Beauty really is in the eye of the bee holder.

They spotted people trying to sell a bike, or as the narrator says:
"peddling a stolen bicycle".