My friend with a speech impediment got arrested for drug peddling.

He really made a meth of himself

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lui_Le_Diamond
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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My dad goes to Mexican restaurants and shakes the empty chip container like a peddling homeless man and says : "Chips for the poor favor"

He does it to this day and laughs every time, my sister and mother have chosen to start ignoring that type of behavior which makes it funnier to me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_var_log_messages
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2015
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On my way in to the supermarket, a gentleman peddling coffins asked if I was interested in purchasing one. β€œA coffin?” I said.

β€œThat’s the last thing I need!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PanaceaGold
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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Did you hear about the mobsters arrested for peddling Viagra and Cialis?

(Showing me the paper today):

Did you hear about the mobsters arrested for peddling Viagra and Cialis?

It sounds like they were hardened criminals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greeneggsand
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2013
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Why did the biker go to jail?

He was peddling drugs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/n3rv0u5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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I just saw a guy riding a bike while trying to sell a donkey.

He was peddling his ass all over town.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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My friend likes to refurbish old bicycles...

Then he peddles them around the neighborhood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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An old beekeeper had been raising bees for years.

An old beekeeper had been raising bees for years. He'd had many bees he gave names to, like Buzz or Stripe or Sting. He got a kick out of naming them and he would spend hours with them crawling on his hands, looking at them, holding them gently and humming little songs.

One year, the hive had a new queen, and she was the most magnificent thing he'd ever seen. He usually gave them clever names like Honey, but this one was just too gorgeous for that. He named her Beauty, and he would hum to her everyday as the sun went down.

One day, during a particularly beautiful sunset, the old man was watching his queen as she peddled around in the palm of his hand, singing to her gently, when a gust of wind suddenly blew some debris toward his face. Without thinking, he reacted, moving his hands fast toward his face, and smashed the queen right into his own eye. And so I guess what they say is true, Beauty really is in the eye of the bee holder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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Watching Motorway Cops (British version of COPS)

They spotted people trying to sell a bike, or as the narrator says:
"peddling a stolen bicycle".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fat_Hitchhiker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2017
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