Pasture
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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What do you call a horse in the pasture next door?

A neigh-bor

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Two cows are standing next to each other in a pasture...

Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artifically inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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*Me every time we pass a cow pasture* β€œDid you know those are award winning cows?”

They’re out standing in their field

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Casey_H3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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Pasture Bedtime young one
πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GalaxyLFoxYT
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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Does anyone work for HR at Pastures New?

If so, can you please stop poaching my staff?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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My car broke down on a Kentucky back road next to a pasture containing a single donkey .

Not wanting to walk, I had to burro it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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If your cell phone's battery is dead, throw it into a cow pasture

This is helpful because the bull charges.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
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Why did the farmer start dancing in the pasture when his cows became ill?

Because of all the moosick!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wer190
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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What do call the best bag of milk in the middle of its own pasture?

A litre in their field.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WheresTheWombo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2016
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Did you hear about the farmer who let his 196 cows out to pasture?

When he rounded them up he had 200.

πŸ‘︎ 160
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πŸ‘€︎ u/perezgc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2017
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I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"

I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."

πŸ‘︎ 22k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArchipelagoMind
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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What time is it when you see a cow laying in a field?

Pasture bedtime

πŸ‘︎ 274
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrincessCuteButt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?

Its pasture bedtime

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the farmer say to the cows at night?

It’s pasture bedtime

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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What did the cow say to her tired baby?

It’s time to go to sleep it’s pasture bed time.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matt4307
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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I had to go find my kid in a farmers field

My kid said, "Why did you come and get me?"

Me: "Its pasture bed time."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Where does a king keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peashootermcgavin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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Why is a field of grass always older than you?

Because it’s pasture age

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bhoke23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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I have a farmer friend who heats his milk products to 212 degrees Fahrenheit using cow chips...

Yep. It's called pasture-ized milk.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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How do you know when it is time for cows to go to sleep?

When it’s pasture bedtime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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If I ever own a ranch in my old age

I'm definitely gonna call it "Pasture Prime"

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jshrad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2016
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Did you see that milk go flying past?

No? Oh. It must have gotten...pasturized!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimBobBoBubba
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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Why did the horses get a divorce?

They didn’t have a stable relationship!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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Why can’t you stay up until the cows come home?

Because it’s pasture bedtime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juggernautx22
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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I’m the animal kingdom, it’s considered a heinous crime for a malaria-infected mosquito to bite.

The insect police force was tracking one of these malaria-mosquitos, when the mosquito fled to a farm. First, she tried to hide in the house, until the farmer chased her away with a newspaper. She tried to hide in the barn with the horses, but the barn cat took a few swipes at the mosquito, and chased it from the barn.

Finally, the mosquito set eyes on sheep in the pasture.she decided all that thick wool would be the perfect place to hide from the insect police force.

The police force arrived shortly after. They first went to the house. No mosquito. They searched the horses. No mosquito. Finally, they got to the pasture with the sheep. After searching and searching, they could not find where the mosquito had hidden.

The mosquito was on the lamb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadfullyBIzzy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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I keep telling this girl who works on a farm to get over the loss of her favorite cow.

But she couldn't put it pasture.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnimuTrappu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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I tried too hard.

An art critic was judging paintings at an event.

The first one was a bland painting of the earth. not too bad, but nothing out of this world.

The second one was a blank painting. Why they even turned it it, don’t ask.

The third one though. The third one was a beautifully crafted painting of a sheep.

The art critic turned to the artist. All they had to say was, β€œWow, I am wooly astonished. The shear amount of detail of this art ewe made, which definitely lambs you into first place. This might be way pasture standards, but too baaad, don’t be sheepish. This piece definitely separates the sheep from the goats, it will definitely farm you some moo-lah.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PorpoleyPolarBear
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say to the cow that refused to go to sleep at midnight?

It’s pasture bedtime!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hufc1908
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I said to my daughter "The cows are out sleeping in the field." She said "What's that got to do with anything? "

I said "It's pasture bedtime."

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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I said to my daughter, ”It’s time for bed, the cows are asleep in the field”. She asked ”what’s that got to do with anything’?

I said β€œIt’s pasture bedtime”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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I told my daughter to go to bed because the cows are sleeping. She asked what’s that go to do with anything..

I said it’s because it’s pasture bedtime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBadMerman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
If you notice cows sleeping in a field...

Does it mean it’s pasture bedtime?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
If you see some cows asleep in a field...

is it pasture bedtime?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
If you notice cows sleeping in a field

does that mean it's pasture bedtime?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TroyExplores
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the mama cow said to the baby cow?

It's pasture bedtime

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Why do you never see cows sleeping?

Because they go to bed pasture bedtime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drgoosebeard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the momma cow say to her baby?

It's pasture bedtime!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrincessCuteButt
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the mummy cow say to the baby cow?

It’s pasture bedtime.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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What did Dad cow say to baby cow?

It's pasture bedtime

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say to his cow at night?

It's pasture bedtime.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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What did the farmer say to the cows at night? πŸ„

It’s pasture bedtime.

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rabbitstew45
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say to his cow at night?

It's pasture bedtime

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/felipe3241
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What does the farmer say to his cows at night?

It’s PASTURE your bedtime.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrislaker92
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the momma cow say to the baby cow

its pasture bed time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talcabus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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What did the farmer say to the cow after night?

Its pasture bed time!

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Driddle07
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
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