I went to a fund raiser for dolphins recently. Since it was Florida, canopies protected the participants from the sun. The mayor got up to speak.

He said, "for all in tents and porpoises, we come together to raise funds."

Something like that might be a good joke... someday...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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If you enter jeans into a competition, they are participants.
πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inktivate
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2014
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Did you hear about the contest where the participants had to destroy neckwear?

It came down to a tie-breaker!

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dhamilt9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2012
🚨︎ report
How do the equestrian olympic participants get to Rio?

The Neighvy....

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IONTOP
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2016
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My wife said, of RideLondon participants, "I can ride faster than that on my bike in the garage"

I replied, you won't get very far in the garage

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2015
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To the guy in the wheelchair participating in the DC insurrection dressed all in camouflage.

You can hide, but you can’t run!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/screamtrumpet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a participation trophy in astronomy?

A constellation prize.

πŸ‘︎ 299
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lazy-aubergine
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man

... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SumFunnyOne
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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i do not think they were fans of my pun.
πŸ‘︎ 494
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pw3x
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...

He took part.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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My pastor friend refused to participate in a Full House themed lesbian wedding.

He didn’t want to marry Kate and Ashley.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm participating in a raffle. The organizer handed me my number. I asked if it will get angry if I dropped it. The organizer looked confused but-

I just don't want to tick-et off.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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(OC) Why don’t Canadians participate in international spelling bees? reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beam_me_up_leela
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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My dad and I were participating in a fantasy football draft together. After my pick, it was his turn.

Me: "You're up"

Dad: "Asia!"

Me: "What about Asia?"

Dad: "Well you said Europe!"

Thanks to u/adamdidit for being my "father" in this situation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mavfatha
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Is your name Michael? Yes or No?

Thank you for your participation.

I'm doing a Mike Check.

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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What group are people with ADD terrible at participating in?

Focus groups.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lcswnn
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Boss: Stop listening to bad rap, participate in meetings, and pay more attention.

Me: So Stop, Collaborate, and Listen?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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Participation trophies

Apparently some kids just took down another confederate monument. Guess this is proof that millennials really do hate participation trophies

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/altermycarbon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Participating in my first pun competition soon- advice?

The first round is 90 seconds to come up with as many puns as possible. Second round is teams, round-robin style. Any pro punners out there with tips?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blueridgerose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don't the X-men let Colossus participate in their talent shows?

Because he always steels the show.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrHobbes82
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2016
🚨︎ report
What kind of tree likes to participate in war?

A bonsai tree.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PodzolPats
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Me and my friend went to a marathon..

There I saw a joke participating in the marathon.

I told my friend," I didn't know jokes could run" He said," Its a running gag"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sahel10000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
During a trip to Canada, I participated in a maple syrup collecting workshop

I wasn't too confident in my tree identification skills, but my instructor said "Oak, aye.". My syrup sure did taste funny though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
🚨︎ report
My Dad always taught me that in adultery there are no winners

but participation is more important than winning

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A stolen joke finally used

Today I received a call from so weird ass number. "Hello Mr. Humblestudmuffin, we would like to ask you to participate in a brief survey about the current general election."

"Oh, I only wear boxers. Have a good night!"

click

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumbleStudMuffin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2016
🚨︎ report
I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!

Damn cuddlefish always wanting to participate in PDAs...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I opened a pistachio shell, and there was nothing inside.

Even Mother Nature is participating in No Nut November.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vaxis2113
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
[request] pun for a wedding hashtag

Using the names of the participants - Alex and Dre

thanks!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckOffRandy_
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2017
🚨︎ report
I won a unique item at the Celebrity Origami charity auction.

The auction's goal was to raise money for Tourette syndrome research by selling origami figures made by famous celebrities. To highlight the purpose of the auction, the organization in charge asked all participating celebs to write a replacement of a naughty four-letter word most closely associated with the disorder.

For example, George Clooney's origami penguin said Fudge instead of the F-word.

Margot Robbie's paper flower said Beach instead of the B-word.

I bid on the origami made by Dwayne Johnson.

The Rock's paper scissors said Shoot.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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My wife showed me a website where you can send your name on a microchip on the Mars 2020 Rover.

I told her I'm glad the rover is not going to Uranus.

Wesbite for those interested in sending their name to Mars and not Uranus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lobbanisgod
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
If procrastination was an Olympic sport,

I would participate in the next one.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I hired a millennial today! He said he doesn't need to be paid...

Participation is its own trophy!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Thought of this as my wife got her Amazon package stolen

Why did the thief steal the planner?

So they can participate in organized crime...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jerbear616
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Help! I need puns about puzzles!

Context: There is an upcoming 250 piece puzzle-making competition at work where teams compete to be the fastest puzzle-solvers. It is a corporate activity. I'm writing the invitation to be distributed and I want to get people participating. Help!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shilreddit
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2017
🚨︎ report
Out dad joked by my wife. This one based on the Olympics. We were watching swimming results.

Me:I've participated in the breast stroke.

Wife:And I've won almost every time!

That's where I was headed but she beat me to it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vasharpshooter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
🚨︎ report
On a plane getting ready to take off...

When the flight attendant says that she needs a verbal yes from those sitting in the exit aisle if they are willing to participate. I hear this middle aged dad behind me. "Verbal Yes"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boss_naas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Need some creative help for making a t-shirt for a school group.

Using this image, can you give me a good catch phrase that is punny using around 7 letters or fewer, and having something to do with taxes, finance, helping people. The t-shirt is for a volunteer group at a law school that helps indigent people file taxes and participates in community education and advocacy in the area of financial literacy.

Thanks for all of your help!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beef_creature
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2013
🚨︎ report
While watching "What Not To Wear"

The people on the show were telling the participant that she was wearing the wrong bra, and that she needed to get measured. My dad says "Hmmm, that sounds like it would be very brafitable for her."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hippienerd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2015
🚨︎ report
He never misses an opportunity to dad joke me

My roommate's girlfriend is currently participating in a study abroad program in Seoul, SK. She had posted something to my Facebook wall and my dad asked me over the phone what she is doing overseas. I told him and he asked what she studies. I said international affairs and without skipping a beat he said "Ah, I see: Boyfriend here, boyfriend there..."

πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goingnoles
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad hit some high schoolers HARD

So I was at a hotel recently for a wedding. It just so happened that the hotel was also hosting a DECA (high school business/entrepreneurship extra-curricular) conference while we were there. My family got into an elevator with a few of the participants, and immediately, my dad turned to them and asked, "So do you have an elevator pitch?" I've never felt such an immaculate combination of pride and embarrassment.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2014
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I asked my dad if he knew anyone named "Franklin"...

He said he met someone named Franklin from a body-building competition he participated in a few years ago. His last name was "Stein".

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JarheadC
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2015
🚨︎ report

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