Parking Attendant Puns

He took one look and said, "You could've been a bit straighter."

Parking attendant: you can't park here.

Me: But all these other cars parked here.

Parking attendant: they didn't ask.

I wanna commit suislide

I went to the transportation office at work with my coworker who was in need of a new parking pass. I don't drive to work, so I did not need to be there.

Parking Pass Attendant (to me): "Do you need a parking pass too?"

Me: "No thanks, I don't have a car."

Parking Attendant jokingly: "You should get one anyway and wear it around your neck"

Me: "I think wearing a car around my neck would get pretty heavy after a while"

So we just sat down at a pizza place and my dad is wearing a neon green hoodie from working as a parking lot attendant

Waitress: well your hoodie is really bright!

Dad: thanks! I just charged it up!