My sons were playing in the pool with a blow up orca pool toy. One of them was riding it and I looked at my wife and told her that there is no question he is my son.
She asked why?
And I said because he's whale endowed.
Me: "Dad, what are you going to do when your PS4 arrives?"
Dad: "Turn it on."
If your crotch itches, you've already got it.
I just had two paws for a moment
I’m asking for a frond.
They’re good at it.
https://preview.redd.it/2064s3fpggx51.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=eb5e2075e112029edf1e41435a6fda0631f30c81
Now whenever someone tries to shake his hand he says "Don't you dare touch my thermos tat!"
A facepalm.
Because they have lots of fronds.
I have way too much thyme on my hands.
I want a punny name for it that makes people cringe. As of right now it’s Arnold Palmer... please give me more suggestions 😂
Cause that's when the steaks are highest.
Edit: Well this is rare, I wasn't sure how well done this joke was. Thanks for the face palm.
Palm Sundae
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
A Palm Tree
Two palms, no dates.
Two windmills near Palm Springs were chatting and the one turns to the other and asks:
“What music do you like?”
The other windmill thinks for a while and responds:
“I’m a metal fan”
HOLD ONTO YOUR NUTS THIS IS NO ORDINARY BLOW JOB.
Now I have something to give me a hand around the house.
Because he kneaded a poop!
He held the note up to the light and frowned. "This is fake," he said.
I said, "Now you know what it feels like."
Looks like I got a little time on my hands
Mrs. Carrot takes him to the ER and after a day of surgery, the doctor steps out and says, "Mrs. Carrot, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, we saved your husband. The bad news is, he's going to be a vegetable the rest of his life."
The second sign of madness is looking for them.
"You take bouncy castles far too seriously," my son replied.
It has no fronds.
Because everyone was root-ing for him.
One is quite heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Now every other type of coffee is un-civet-lysed
I need a good Palm Sunday Pun, any punners want to take the bait?
Looks like I have some time on my hands
