Palm Tree

https://preview.redd.it/2064s3fpggx51.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=eb5e2075e112029edf1e41435a6fda0631f30c81

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vividlad69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Palm tree
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealAasimAli
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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Palm tree
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JHawkBoomer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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Hee hee
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levzeppelin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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What did the man get when he ran into a palm tree?

A facepalm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaffynitionMaker
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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If I go out with a palm tree

Is it a date?

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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My dad just got a tattoo of a Thermos on his palm...

Now whenever someone tries to shake his hand he says "Don't you dare touch my thermos tat!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/koleslaw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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Why don’t palm trees ever get lonely?

Because they have lots of fronds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a9lex
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Face palm
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sirithinkalot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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When I'm bored I like to sprinkle dried herbs into my palms

I have way too much thyme on my hands.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StormtrooperMJS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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Just yesterday, daughter was arguing over dishes.

I told her she didn't have to open that can of worms, and we wouldn't be trying to de-bait now.

I walked away laughing, and daughter face palming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Goalie_deacon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Why should you be worried if you see cows smoking marijuana?

Cause that's when the steaks are highest.

Edit: Well this is rare, I wasn't sure how well done this joke was. Thanks for the face palm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wileydan
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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School Drop off Conversation

A Conversation I had with my Daughter when I dropped her off at school

Me: Hey so you know how your cats are always running around all over the place right?
Daughter: Yeah why?
Me: So When they stop moving are they on Paws?
Daughter: Face Palms and says "OKAY DAD BYEEE!!!"
Me: YESSSS! Fist Pump!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajmansell
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Face Palm
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πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sexy_lorax
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..

In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti

πŸ‘︎ 22k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlySupaFly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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It's a palm tree
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NemesisCR
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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I bought a neon palm tree light and I want to name it.

I want a punny name for it that makes people cringe. As of right now it’s Arnold Palmer... please give me more suggestions πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whymsie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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A carrot and his wife are walking home from a party late at night and he gets hit by a car.

Mrs. Carrot takes him to the ER and after a day of surgery, the doctor steps out and says, "Mrs. Carrot, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, we saved your husband. The bad news is, he's going to be a vegetable the rest of his life."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LargeBigHuge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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This Palm Tree
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mak_101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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palm tree
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuB2PewDIep1e
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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What do you call a tree fingers grow on?

A palm tree

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AttemptsMade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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The palm tree
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eitanwass
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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The palm tree
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blazinfastjohny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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What is the difference between a Hippo, and a Zippo?

One is quite heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/H_G_Bells
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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I planted a palm tree outside my house

Now I have something to give me a hand around the house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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Why did the baker have brown palms?

Because he kneaded a poop!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emmyface23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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You hear about the new bomb made out of horses?

It’s called neigh-palm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree.?

HOLD ONTO YOUR NUTS THIS IS NO ORDINARY BLOW JOB.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FUNNNYJoke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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My friend drew a small clock on my palms

Looks like I got a little time on my hands

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeonShine-
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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Got played by my niece the other day

I was on the couch, visiting with family. My niece is about 2 or 3. She grabs my hand and says "Ewwwwwwwwwww"

Confused, I responded "Eww?"

And as if on cue, she looks down and spits directly into my palm, with a small piece of food for good measure.

Ah...."Eww."

Her dad sitting next to me on the ps4 looks over and asked what happened. I explained what happened and we both laughed. I'm not even mad, I'm impressed. It wouldn't surprise me if she becomes a stand up comic one day, or at least the class clown.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marcofromda510
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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After seeing a palm reader, I gave him my money.

He held the note up to the light and frowned. "This is fake," he said.

I said, "Now you know what it feels like."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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[Meta] love for you jokester dads

The only think I miss about my (otherwise awful) father is his sense of humor. Thank you from the bottom of my heart (and the top of my face palms) for every groaner, pun, and repeat.

Love,

All us fatherless (for whatever reason) redditors

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cakeweefs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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Palm oil is quite a handy thing to have around the house
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a5dfa5h
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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Palm readers are great at focusing on the matter at hand.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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Got a new palm tree tattoo guys 🌴
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sockmonst3r
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2016
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The first sign of madness is hair on the palms of your hand

The second sign of madness is looking for them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourDailyHuman77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
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How do you know a palm tree is lonely?

It has no fronds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FriskySour
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
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"Think before you jump," I said, my palms sweating. "It might not be the right decision..."

"You take bouncy castles far too seriously," my son replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
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I guess the Palm Beach Post was angling for a great headline!!!
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2017
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my dad: look! a palm tree!
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
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I tried the world's most expensive coffee, Kopi Luwak, made with part-digested coffee cherries eaten and defecated by the Asian palm civet

Now every other type of coffee is un-civet-lysed

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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What do you call a tree thats made out of hands?

A palm tree

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Porterhouse_27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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So I got drunk last night and my friend drew a clock on my palms

Looks like I have some time on my hands

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeonShine-
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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What tree is the handiest?

A palm tree

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A Palm Tree

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πŸ‘€︎ u/90eight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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What do you call a tree made out of hands?

A palm tree

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Porterhouse_27
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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