Paging

I hope this is the proper venue for this post. If not, feel free to delete me.

This came from when I was doing production lighting. Every once in a while during concert setup the audio tech would need help with mic check. Now the "real" audio guys would always just stand there going "check check check one two". Me being not a real audio guy wanted to have more fun than that, so I would always do "pages" as if I was paging people. But I would use these assumed names. Here is a partial list of names I would use. If you look closely you might notice a familiar u/name or two.

Paging Mister Lobbla … Mister Bob Lobbla (from Arrested Development)

Paging Mister Vitoomey … Mister Lee Vitoomey

Paging Mister Frescoe … Mister Al Frescoe

Paging Miss Haivure … Miss Bee Haivure

Paging Miss Mitch … Miss Miranda Mitch (my random itch - from The Mick?)

Paging Miss Dactyl … Miss Tara Dactyl

Paging Miss Falactec … Miss Anna Falactec

Paging Miss Tonin … Miss Sarah Tonin

Paging Mister Zinette … Mister Ray Zinnette

Paging Mister Reader … Mister Chip Reader

Paging Miss Kiaki … Miss Sue Kiaki

Paging Mister Doffish … Mister Stan Doffish

Paging Mister Debank … Mister Robin Debank

Paging Mister Festo … Mister Manny Festo

Paging Mister Ifornia … Mister Cal Ifornia

Paging Mister Itosis … Mister Hal Itosis

Paging Mister Saroni … Mister Rye Saroni

Paging Mister Nasium … Mister Jim Nasium

Paging Mister Aroon … Mister Mac Aroon

Paging Miss Ester … Miss Polly Ester

Paging Miss Rexia … Miss Anna Rexia

Paging Mister Zapan … Mister Pete Zapan

Paging Mister Tenuff … Mister Jess Tenuff

Paging Miss Eous … Miss Elaine Eous

Paging Mister Aroni … Mister Mac Aroni

Paging Mister Preneur … Mister Andre Preneur

Paging Mister Cetera … Mister Ed Cetera

Paging Mr. Zapple … Mr. Adam Zapple

Paging Mr. Bino … Mr. Al Bino

Paging Miss Slapter … Miss Ida Slapter

Paging Miss Talia … Miss Jenna Talia

Paging Mr. Rafone … Mr. Mike Rafone

Paging Mr. Zark … Mr. Noah Zark

Paging Miss Yoki … Miss Carey Yoki

Paging Mr. Foolery … Mr. Tom Foolery

Paging Mr. Atric … Mr. Jerry Atric

Paging Mr. Duttank … Mr. Phillip Duttank

Paging Mr. Anoma … Mr. Mel Anoma

Paging Mister Jass … Mr. Hugh Jass

Paging Mr. Onella … Mr. Sam Onella

Paging Mr. Maphobe … Mr. Jer Maphobe

Paging Mr. Packa … Mr. Al Packa

Paging Mister Dente … Mister Al Dente

Paging Miss Conda … Miss Anna Conda

Paging Miss Sharalike … Miss Sharon Sharalike

Paging Miss Bellum … Miss Sarah Bellum

Paging Miss Mennopey … Miss

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayZinnet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
🚨︎ report
A front page pun
πŸ‘︎ 861
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bcm980
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I bought a thesaurus but when I opened it all the pages were blank

I had no words to describe how angry I was

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simszter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Went to a fish and chip shop shop that served the food on old atlas pages instead of newspaper.

A bit odd but it really put that plaice on the map.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/donttakethechip
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'

The result was 'This page cannot be found.'

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m so bored that I just memorized six pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

πŸ‘︎ 237
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
If you spell the words β€œAbsolutely Nothing” backwards, you get β€œGnihton Yletulosba,” which ironically means...

Absolutely nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealTripleH
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Elliott Page wrote a book about him changing his pronoun?

It's a Page-turner...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Babbadooka
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I've written a stage representation of a story in which all lines are puns, and the stage is covered with the pages of a dictionary...

It's a play on words.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Today, my son asked, β€œCan I have a bookmark?”

I burst into tears. 12 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Saw this on sarcasm page on Facebook
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mfalme7
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm starting to write a book about a tornado disaster

It's just a draft at the moment.

πŸ‘︎ 296
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MyCatsAreDumb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
The right way of flirting
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AligatorKS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend claims the he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.

But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I wonder if they'll write a book about Ellen Page's transformation into Elliot

They should.

It'll be a real Page-turner!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abhishekms89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.

It's a Languedoc.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notBjoern
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife went into labor today, so I read the front page of /r/DadJokes to her as a distraction from the pain. Unfortunately, she didn’t laugh once, was clearly not amused and I have no idea why...

It must have been the delivery...

πŸ‘︎ 206
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I created the world’s first bulletproof vest using pages from recycled books

I call it Plot Armor β„’

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/serialcompliment
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally ripped a page off my dictionary

After re-checking it, I found out that little to nothing was missing.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuvalve
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a friend in the publishing industry who made calendars, but I had to end our friendship

He was always getting hung up on little things, and telling me that our days were numbered. I've turned the page.

I hear he's dating someone now though.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/runawaj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
In spite of all our disagreements on Reddit, I’m glad about one thing.

Every one reading this is on the same page.

Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.

πŸ‘︎ 18k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Found on The Chef’s Circle Facebook page
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/financiallyflutey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I am having a really bad day, somebody ripped the front and back pages out of my dictionary.

It just goes from Bad to Worse!

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crowkiller06
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
OK here we go. Soap this gets to the front page...
πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/electrocuter666
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I came home to find out that one of my kids tore both the front and the back pages of our dictionary.

Things just went from bad to worse.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œIs this the Spanish word for β€˜nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.

β€œSi, estΓ‘.”

πŸ‘︎ 180
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SDM0102
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Tootsie Pops finally got into the 21st century and created a Facebook page. With it, they created a new catchphrase.

How many likes does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Here's my 2 scents on the puns page.
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yaths17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I swallowed a dictionary today.

It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Some idiot posted a Chinese telephone directory through my door...

It was full of Wong numbers.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckinWimp87
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I am Buzz Aldrin. Second man to step on the moon.

Neil before me.

πŸ‘︎ 27k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mooshoopork4
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What's new?

The past tense of snow.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sherrymacc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
So far I've memorized seven pages of this dictionary;

I've learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/H_G_Bells
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A book my son is reading. Nothing but fart jokes/puns
πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/epona14
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said, β€œWhy don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?”

I said, β€œThat’s.....a novel idea.”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Orcas are love spouting and accepting homosexuwhales
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MartianGlassner
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I have lost my serving boy

The page cannot be found.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HecticBooty13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
The local paper ran a front page article about offering a large print edition to be more accessible.

Apparently it was big news.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dave7243
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I was so bored sitting at home that I memorized six pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 968
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I just bought a dictionary today and bought it home to find out that all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I just bought a Thesaurus at the store and bought it home to find all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

πŸ‘︎ 199
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I was so bored that I memorized 6 pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I ordered a thesaurus from Amazon but when it was delivered all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

πŸ‘︎ 333
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Just bought a thesaurus and got home to find out the pages are all blank!

I have no words to describe how angry I am...

πŸ‘︎ 429
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/metalmarky82
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I was so bored over quarantine that I memorized 6 pages of the dictionary

I learned next to nothing

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/superto3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I was so bored that I memorized 6 pages of a dictionary

I learned next to nothing

πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sexxc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.