pFuns
π︎ 2k
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︎ Nov 06 2022
I'm in spain without the p.
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 20 2022
What did the letter F say to the letter P?
"Don't stick your tongue out at me."
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 16 2022
R.I.P. dear druggist
π︎ 3k
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︎ Jun 07 2022
The car mechanic told me, βYou can pick up your car at 5 p.m.β
I said, βI donβt think Iβll be strong enough by then.β
π︎ 82
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︎ Aug 24 2022
I have a pHd in zoology with a specialty in marsupials. Most people don't know that there are two things that make wombats special.
- They poop cubes. Seriously, look it up! It's wild. And 2. Just like otters, when they sleep, they hold hands. It's not as cute as you'd expect, it's honestly pretty violent. It's essentially hand-to-hand wombat.
π︎ 14
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︎ Sep 30 2022
Did you know that Jewish people have a lower pH than everyone else?
Theyβre pretty Hasidic.
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 26 2022
My wife and I were discussing the TV show Magnum P.I. and she asked how many stars would I give it out of 4.
I told her I would give it 3.14 stars.
π︎ 30
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︎ Aug 02 2022
Name a car that starts with "P"
An old lady customer of mine asks. I reply, "Porsche". She says...."they're supposed to start with gas".
π︎ 37
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︎ Jul 12 2022
A trove of (p)awful signs
https://www.parentmood.com/en/pawsitive-worthy-vet-chuckle?ly=native_one
π︎ 11
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︎ Sep 18 2022
R.I.P boiled water...
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 10 2022
If H.P. Lovecraft had a Clothing Brand
It'd probably be called Cthulhu Lemon.
π︎ 19
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︎ Jul 14 2022
I'll be very disappointed if Jim Carrey's gravestone reads "R.I.P."
Rather than "Take care now, bye bye then!"
π︎ 13
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︎ Aug 02 2022
There's only one thing girls want. It starts with a P and ends in an S.
π︎ 2k
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︎ Nov 14 2021
I was wondering why the printer was pLayin music...
I eventually realized the printer was jamming
π︎ 50
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︎ Jul 23 2022
When does q come before p?
When thereβs a line to the bathroom
π︎ 212
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︎ Jan 22 2022
Getting accepted to P P University was easy.
All I had to do was take a you're in test
π︎ 9
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︎ Jun 10 2022
I was scolded today for using the βPβ word.
He said thatβs arrrrr word
π︎ 7
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︎ May 07 2022
R.I.P. to my pet mouse Elvis.
π︎ 7
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︎ May 29 2022
You ever hear why P-Diddy has such nice hair�
π︎ 8
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︎ May 11 2022
Michelle Pfeiffer has a silent P,
but when she has a dump you can hear it downstairs.
π︎ 12
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︎ May 12 2022
"Thanks for calling WRDT. Now, for $10,000, name 3 cars that start with P."
"Uhh... Porsche. Plymouth. And...umm...Pontiac"
"No! I'm sorry, those all start with gas!"
π︎ 108
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︎ Dec 25 2021
Which important body part is most useful when erect and is spelled with the letters P E N I S?
π︎ 11
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︎ Feb 03 2022
What starts with P, ends with E and is purple?
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 15 2022
The other day I switched out F for Pβ¦
β¦in an attempt to be punny
π︎ 113
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︎ Nov 01 2021
I programmed my google assistant to spell the letter 'c' for 'p'. Now she says
The U.S. is by far the world's largest croduper and excorter of porn
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 02 2022
A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?
Because they're all not 'C's.
π︎ 10k
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︎ Dec 11 2019
R.I.P
π︎ 5k
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︎ Aug 15 2019
What starts with "p" and ends with "e" and has a millions letters?
π︎ 15
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︎ Oct 24 2021
Plant it during the cool days of spring or fall. Space the plants 18 to 24 inches apart in an area that gets plenty of sunlight and has rich, well-drained soil with a pH of 6.5 to 7.0
π︎ 25
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︎ Nov 13 2021
What is one thing every woman wants that starts with P and ends with S?
π︎ 14
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︎ Jul 08 2021
Most of you have probably heard of the seven P's, but how many have heard of the 6 N's?
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
π︎ 22
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︎ Oct 08 2021
The most common blood group is type P.
π︎ 57
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︎ Sep 04 2021
Whatβs long, strong, bendable and has the letters p, i, n, s, e?
π︎ 28
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︎ May 28 2021
My son got detention for misbehaving in P.E. The P.E. teacher told him he had to write an essay in the form of a report about a cricket match and he couldnβt leave until heβd finished it.
Less than 5 minutes later my son handed the essay in to the bemused teacher, and left detention.
The essay simply said:
βrain stopped playβ
π︎ 12
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︎ Nov 05 2021
Pterodactyl has a silent p
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 18 2021
Grandad asked me how to print, I said 'control-P'...
...he said I haven't been able to do that for years
π︎ 25
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︎ Sep 23 2021
H.P. Lovecraft walks into a barβ¦
.
The bartender immediately asks him, βWhy the long face?β
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 01 2021
I regret nothing :p
π︎ 31
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︎ Aug 30 2020
If H.P Lovecraft had a Clothing Brand
It'd probably be called Cthulhu Lemon
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 14 2022
R.I.P. Boiled water.
π︎ 92
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︎ Apr 20 2022
What body part do you spell using the letters P, E, N, I, and S?
π︎ 32
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︎ Mar 19 2021
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