What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it

Post office

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wizzecian007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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What do you call a tricky woman whose initials are P.B.?

Miss Lead!

..Y'know, because Lead is Pb on the periodic table..? All of my friends (okay fine, all one of my friends) just stared at me when I told him.. Thought you folks might appreciate it a little more...

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pthelynese
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z

Happy No L!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Why did the Pteranadon have a P?

Because it drank water like everything else.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lostsharpie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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I’m thinking of a word. Starts with P and doesn’t have an ending

it’s Pi

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MINECRAFT-BEE7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Never take the p out of a pirate.

They become quite angry.

πŸ‘︎ 213
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?

Because they're all not 'C's.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedPlanetCorridor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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This is not oc content it MAY be a re p o st
πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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How do you turn a T into P?

Drink it

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.

I must be missing some bowels.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marvinli
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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I took the p out of a pirate yesterday

He got really angry

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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Just listened to W.A.P...

It reminded me to bath my cat.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zuwiboiii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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How to defeat Agent P in a swordfight.

Parry the platypus.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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A L L C A P S
πŸ‘︎ 815
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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Can I play World War Z without having played World War A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X and Y before? /r/ShouldIbuythisgame/com…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonaSavage17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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My C.P.A. always eats terrible food...

... but there's no accounting for taste.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadMoor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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**T H E R E I S N O E S C A P E**
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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A man walks into a doctors office. "What seems to be the problem'P" Asks the doc. um... well... I have five penises," replies the man. "Blimey!" Says the doctor "how do your trousers fit?"

"Like a glove."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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How do you turn a T into a P?

Drink it.

Edit: Maybe β€œDrink the tea” is clearer.

πŸ‘︎ 865
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πŸ‘€︎ u/headstab
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
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h a n d s o a p
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alienbeef0421
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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A pun-ny drawing :P
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thehttprincess
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Came out backwords / at a loss for words / just one big bowl of soup / proper punctuation: the colon / man,ure on a roll / just stirring the pot / poo-lease stop / can't. IOU potty humor / Y you say that? / It's fun, butt OK - mind my P's and Q's - I'll put lid on it
πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barwhack
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2017
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My Dad’s latest Christmas brunch joke: How do you catch a polar bear? You cut a hole in the ice and sprinkle some P’s around.

When the polar bear comes up to take a P, you kick him in the hole.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/susannahrose
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
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Got the waitress at P.F. Chang's good a couple weeks ago.

I was out for a nice dinner at P.F. Chang's with a couple buddies to celebrate my birthday. I had decided to order the Shaking Beef, because it sounded delicious (and it was).

The waitress came to take our orders, got to me, and I asked for the Shaking Beef. When she asked how I wanted it, out of impulse, I replied "Shaking, not stirred".

Both of my buddies groaned and gave me shit for the rest of the night, but the waitress laughed, so it went okay. I was, and still am, proud.

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProcrastinHater
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2014
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I took a p-shooter to a water fight...

They didn't know what hit 'em until I squirted them with it!

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2017
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To spell panda you only need P and A
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/touchmybackwalls
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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Heroes are just a P away from herpes...
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/C-hip
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2017
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A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"

The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.

The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"

Again, the clerk doesn't answer him.

The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"

And the clerk just seems to ignore him.

Finally, the guy storms off in anger.

The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "Why wouldn't you answer that guy's question?"

The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2016
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5yo son: "I'm going to make a P for parking...I know how to make a P"

Me: I would hope so...otherwise you'd still need diapers!

Wife chucked, 5-year-old groaned.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ndgeek
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2015
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What are those bananas that start with a p?

Pananas

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/excio
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2016
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A little Christmas song. A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/December_Soul
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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How do you turn a T into a P

Drink it a

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iwantmyteslanow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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How do you turn a T into a P?

Drink it!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shoshilyawkward
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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I have updated the alphabet for festive period. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z

No-el no-L

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RikM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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