There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner
i guess the crowd wasn't orderly orderly orderly though
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Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer
The bartender says we don't serve food here
I got into trouble at the park today - people told me to stop arranging the squirrels in order of height
I guess they were critter-sizing me
I told my wife I’m going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.
She said, “Where would you find the time?”
I said, “Easy. Right next to the sage.”
A blonde orders a pizza and the waiter asks if she would like it cut into 6 or 12 pieces.
"6 please. I could never eat 12."
The butchers wife always messes up everyone's orders.
My barista didn’t filter my coffee right. I issued her a restraining order.
What does a virus need to do in order to reach more people?
It needs to strain itself.
I think Harry would like an order of wings right about now...
I ordered some stuff online yesterday and I used my Donor Card instead of my Debit Card.
Cost me an arm and a leg.
What cold food do you order at a fast food restaurant?
What cold food do you order at a fast food restaurant?
A Brrrrrrger.
I ordered a book about premature ejaculation
What fast food does a young cannibal order?
What is the best kind of pasta to order in France?
TIFU by mixing up my coworkers' sandwich orders and not giving them what they requested.
i ordered a chiken and an egg on craigslist...
David Hasselhoff walked into a bar and ordered a drink.
“It’s a pleasure to serve you, Mr. Hasselhoff”, said the bartender.
“Just call me Hoff”, he replied.
“Sure”, said the bartender, “no hassle”.
When I order Indian food I get to eat all of it myself.
No one else ever wants naan.
I ordered a large duck at the Chinese last night...
I ordered my burger with no mayo.
When I took my first bite I said, “What the Hell Mann?!”
My wife told me today that when I got her food order, that I need to remember to ask for cheese or they wouldn’t add it.
I told her if they forgot the cheese again, it wouldn’t end very Gouda for them!
Hear about that superhero knock-off group that keeps ordering drinks but pour out all the liquid?
Apparently they call themselves the Just Ice League
Just ordered a 12” wide console table to go by our entryway door.
My daughter says it will be very soothing.
Sbarro pizza company charged with violating state COVID executive order
They are expected to make an appearance in Food Court next week.
Good evening. I'll see my self out...
A man walks into a restaurant and orders a hamburger. Upon receiving the burger, the man says to the burger, “Burger, can you help me with my urinary tract infection?”.
“No”, replies the burger, “but I can tell you you’re going to need an umbrella later.”
“Oh, sorry”, said the man, “I thought you were a meaty urologist”.
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
My self-centered friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn't afford the bill.
He really got a head of himself.
A group of bedazzled tarps and a bunch of poles walk into a restaurant and order some stakes....
Things became pretty tents.
Just found out there's a Law & Order UK.
It's produced by Spotted Dick Wolf.
I'm gluten intolerant so ordering from Indian restaurants is a challenge.
They all tell me it's naan optional.
I can order pizza in two languages
I guess that makes me Pielinguel
My son is going to therapy in order to treat his aibohphobia
He is even scared of saying it
He's just following orders
The wife was asking for recognition over the labours she endured for me, in order to give me my two kids...
So I thanked her for her cervix.
Man walks into a bar and orders a Corona and 2 huricanes...
Bartender says, “That will be $20.20.”
A horse walks into a bar and orders a beer
The barman says what's it with the long face
So the other day I ordered some Kung Pao chicken, but I think it came with a side of pasta instead of rice
What did the werewolf order from the ice cream shop?
What did the broke guy order at the strip club’s ‘legs ‘n’ eggs’ show?
Went to the pet store and ordered a dozen bees. I noticed that the clerk gave me 13...
so I asked if that was a free bee. He replied, "No, that's called a baker's dozen. If you spent less time reading reposts on Reddit, you would know that."
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer.
I ordered a chicken and an egg online
A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we dont serve food here".
A guy walks into a bar and orders a Corona and two hurricanes
The bartender says, “that’ll be $20.20”
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