Shop assistant fought off armed robber with his labeling gun.
Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.
π︎ 188
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
What do you call a magician that fondles his assistants?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 10 2021
What do you call a sushi chef's assistant?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 23 2021
In college, I worked part time as a butcher's assistant.
You know, just to make ends meat.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
We used to have a Teacherβs assistant named Ruth, but one day she left.
After that, our teacher became ruthless
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
What are Aquaman's assistants?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 27 2020
Ad in local paper : 'Wanted Barber's assistant'
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
I was buying the wife some underwear, I asked the shop assistant;
βAre these knickers satin?"
"Noβ she said, βTheyβre brand new...β
π︎ 23
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, "Is this good for wasps?"
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Oct 16 2019
I went to the book store and asked the assistant for any books about turtles.
She asked " Hardback? " And I said.. .." yeah, and little heads. "
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
I was in town earlier on looking for some fly killer. I picked up a can and asked the young store assistant "Excuse me, is this any good for wasps?"
"No" he said, "It kills them"
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
Why was the bakerβs assistant fired?
π︎ 54
π
︎ May 28 2020
Last summer, I worked on a party boat for the assistants to the staff of Terry Crews
I was on the Crews' crew's crew cruise crew.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
Web assistant
π︎ 101
π
︎ Dec 17 2019
Today, the day after Ash Wednesday, my assistant discovered she actually enjoys making spreadsheets.
I told her that was excellent.
.
(This is a true story.)
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 28 2020
Is Google Assistant a dad?
http://i.imgur.com/KD1dxhgh.jpg
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Oct 20 2016
I was in the Apple store the other day and the sales assistant Robert, approached me and asked would I like to try the new iPhone. Not interested, I turned and said:
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 05 2019
I asked the shop assistant where the Terminator action figures were.
She said "Aisle B, back".
π︎ 25
π
︎ Feb 07 2020
What do you call it when your virtual assistant misunderstands your request?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 16 2020
When you ask google assistant for a pun and you instantly regret it
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 24 2019
I'm the best Assistant DJ in the entire world....
In fact, I hold the record!
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 30 2019
What do you call a Scottish cloakroom assistant?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 18 2019
My executive assistant has long hair.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 06 2019
Whatβs a Dr. Peppers assistant
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 15 2019
I asked the book store assistant where the books on self help were...?
She replied "Sorry, that would defeat the purpose"
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 15 2019
Why didn't Billie Joe Armstrong use any assistants when he was on a cooking show?
It's because he woks alone.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 18 2019
How does Sherlock Holmes ask his assistant what he is thinking about?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 30 2018
Why did the dental assistant go to the comedy club?
She was told she was really good at impressions!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 30 2019
Google assistant got no chill!!
π︎ 18
π
︎ Sep 29 2018
When my son was born the assistant dropped him so I proceeded to make some real lifestyle changes
It was a real midwife crisis
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 23 2019
An assistant to a breakfast chef was fired from his job for stealing utensils.
When they asked him why he stole he said, "it was a whisk I was willing to take".
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 28 2019
Paul's an assistant at a butcher shop . He's 6 foot tall and wears a size 9 shoe . What does he weight ?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 07 2019
Branch manager and assistant to the branch manager
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 15 2018
"Excuse me, what's the expiry date on this?" I asked the shop assistant.
"Sir," he said, "that's a calendar."
π︎ 35
π
︎ Sep 29 2018
I was in a shop talking to an assistant. I said, "I want some stuff for my kitchen, you know..."
"Kitchenware?" she asked.
I said, "In my house, of course."
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 30 2018
Did you hear about the baker and his assistant Pi?
It was a pretty ordinary day. A woman came in wanting a couple piece of cheesecake, and the baker was busy. So Pi cut her 3.14 slices...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 06 2019
I walked into a furniture shop. I said to the assistant, "That leather seat over there...I've been sent in by my wife to buy it for her."
He said, "Ah, I've got one those at home."
I said, "Well, she can't be as bossy as mine."
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 28 2018
Today I was waiting have a cavity filled at the dentist when the assistant hands me the smart tv remote to put something on while I wait.
So I say βNothing like a little Netflix and drillβ
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 18 2018
Dadjoking the crowd every time I introduce my assistant
"This is my assistant. She's also my sister, so that makes her my assister!"
π︎ 136
π
︎ Mar 13 2014
I went to a cake shop and told the assistant that I wanted to design a cake for my wife.
"What would she like on top of that?" asked the assistant.
I said, "Probably some money and for me to do the cleaning."
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 14 2018
What do you call the assistant to the assistant nut?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 13 2018
Apparently Google Assistant recently became a father.
I saw this on the FrontPage and immediately thought of you guys.
https://imgur.com/8Be1Y7J
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 13 2016
A shop assistant fiercely fought off an armed robber with his labelling gun, yesterday.
Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head
π︎ 8k
π
︎ May 09 2020
A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, βIs this good for wasps?β
He said, βNo, it kills them.β
π︎ 53
π
︎ Apr 24 2020
A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, "Is this good for wasps?"
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 18 2020
A shop assistant tried stopping an armed robber by attacking him with a labeling gun.
Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.
π︎ 180
π
︎ Aug 08 2019
Google Assistant telling Dad Jokes
http://imgur.com/22YJqvO.jpg
π︎ 75
π
︎ Mar 13 2017
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